Nothing is ever lost in this adventure of all adventures.  The

lessons and discoveries of every single life, no matter how

large or small, difficult or easy, are added to the whole. Like

stones in the base of a pyramid, they permanently raise and 

forever support every manner of adventure that follows.  And 

so it is that the hearts of those that came first continue to

beat in all the subsequent generations forevermore.

from: Notes from the Universe

by: Mike Dooley

Ive been missing a golden opportunity to write!! Hand to forehead.....I should have been writing about my adventures at attempting to be a PE teacher at Ellis Elementary in Logan Utah!!  I've really blown it!
For some reason, with Friday being picture day at school, I became inspired.
I am surrounded by beautiful children every day now.  Each and every one of them are beautiful.  I've been at the school for a little over 2 months  and I am completely whipped. Whipped up in my heart and of course on many days, also whipped physically as well.
I teach K-5.
Sometimes I think Im nuts.
But then I  show-up and interact with the beautiful kids and Im ok. There are more beautiful dark skinned kiddos than we boring Caucasians.  I LOVE this!! Im learning so much.
So today Im thinking that every day should be picture day.  Most of the kiddos must have gotten up extra early yesterday so that their mothers could primp and shine them for school pics.  They were all so darling.

A game of HORSE...while waiting for their turn in front of the camera.

The kickball game in the afternoon. I know I should have

 gotten closer, but I couldnt resist the colors and the

 mountains and the single fluffy cloud. 

Every Friday I have the opportunity to take the 2nd graders, 

and 1st graders and then the kindergarteres for a walk 

around the block..to help get the wiggles out and some fresh

 air in those tender lungs!! Good times!!!

This week and this whole month Im attempting to teach jump rope.  Who knew jump roping could be 'taught"!!??  Previously I thought you picked up a piece of rope and tripped and stumbled and tried to jump it until you got it!! But oh no...there are books written on the subject!! There's a technique!!  And as you can well imagine ...teaching a 5th grader is a whole different experience than it is when teaching a kindergartner!!  Oh my yes!!

Every night I lay in bed and question my sanity. What is a Mimi (a grandma) dong teaching PE to kids under the age of 11...Kids full of energy and enthusiasm and riddled with quirks !!  Really!!?? Who am I kidding!!??  But when Im there--inside the ancient  walls of Ellis...(Ellis is the oldest, function school in all of Utah) I find happiness.  Happiness and frustrations, in the midst of frequent chaos.  Im sure you can imagine me pulling my hair out at those times...oh me of little patience. Can you picture me blowing on a whistle...a whistle I HATE for it really hurts my ears!!??   Can you picture me in any of these scenarios? I usually cant either!!

If you know its going to be a slog anyway,

why not choose to slog your own slog rather

than slogging someone else's slog?

from: Put a Cherry On Top

by: Ben Behunin 

    

Change is inevitable. And things are ALWAYS changing. Clark woke up one morning this week and said it was time for a change. ...that it was the day for a hair cut.
Many, many people are so pleased by Clarks 'transformation'  I love this mug no matter what.  I loved his long curly locks...and I now love this GQ look too.  And I love imagining their future... the changes that are in store for them as school begins soon..in far away Kansas City.

Big changes are in the works for me too.  They feel like big changes...again.
Im packing my bags..saying good-byes...and will be heading north again on Thursday.  I tell people that Im either landing in Salt Lake or Logan this time.  But deep in my heart I think Ill find myself back in Logan with my Builder...where I belong. (NOT in Logan...but with My Builder.) The 'experiment' of long distant relating didnt work as well as I expected. Marriage is hard enough..putting 600 miles between us was just not healthy or helpful. Im hoping for what wont feel like a step backwards, and find myself residing in Logan again..but if its necessary I will find a way to be happy about it!! There are two adorable grands there..and people I love very much.  There are probably 2 more months of decent weather in Logan...I should take advantage of that. But  I'll be doing my best to find our way to Salt Lake before winter hits in any way I can too.
If I 'feel' it in my future...it'll happen.

10 Things About Me

“I heard a preacher say recently that hope is a revolutionary patience; 

let me add that so is being a writer. Hope begins in the dark, the 

stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing,

 the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.” 

from: Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

by: Anne Lamott

(I know I posted this on Facebook the other day...but Im putting it here as well....for posterity.  Face book will scroll it away to some bottomless pit...never to be found again.  I want it here, literally...so that the kids and the grands will know where to find it. )

1.       1. Next to book stores…the stationary isle in any box store turns me on. Pens in all their varieties, paper in all its forms, notebooks and journal, and even stickers make me happy.

2.      2. Im now living under the same roof with a brilliant son in law who I know, given enough time, could pin-point the exact location on my DNA string that has the trait for addictive behavior. If he could, I would ask him to switch it off. I have addictive qualities in my life. Im easily addicted to caffeine. I am addicted to tumblr And I could easily spend the whole day playing computer solitaire if I let myself.  Instead I stay away from the ap.

3.      3. Im a wanna be artist.  I want to take classes. Im surrounded by many talented artist…all right here in my own family.  My mom, her mom- my grandmother, 3 of my sons-Joe, Brian, and Clark. Even Bob has great artistic abilities if he’d give it the time. I want to develop my creativity. Right now my creative outlet is tumblr…which I love!!

4.       4.Shush…don’t tell anyone…but I have actually been enjoying my teaching gig at church on Sundays.  Miracles do happen.  But you can ask me about this again come the first of the year when I have to take on the Old Testament. Ugh!!

5.       5.Writing brings me great joy and solace and a sense of satisfaction.  Its a form of journaling and a way of keeping connected to my family.  I write while thinking of my family…my family now and my potential family in the future. For all the wonderful grands to come! I carry notebooks with me wherever I go…to be ready for sudden and welcomed inspiration!

6.     6.  I consider my friends to be my choicest gifts and blessings. The vast majority of my friends are not even remotely close in proximity…but they are in my mind and heart.

7.      7. I fantasize  about writing and illustrating a childrens book. See #5 and #3. Right now in my minds eye I see a bowl of cheerios with giraffes and turtles with matching spots and marking all swimming in the milk and O’s.  That’s as far as it goes.

8.       8.Im a closet collector of cheap spiral bound notebooks. When I die the kids will find cupboards full of multi colored, psychedelic notebooks.  All of them bought on sale after the back to school frenzy has died down.  My reasoning?  “If I have them…I will write.”

9. Artichokes, Avocados, and Pizza are my favorite foods.

9.        10.I believe in enchantment...  in the unexpected, in the unexplained...in things that leave me breathless. Also defined as Spiritualism. I suppose I always have.

I will try to  explain further.
I believe in angels...without the feathery wings.
I believe in ghosts...but not the giant marshmallow types.
I believe we ALL have the inherent gift of the Light of Christ.
I believe in music.
I believe in change.
I believe in yours and in my divine potential.
I believe in dreams and visions.
I believe in good and evil.
I believe in wonder.
I believe in magic.
Middle Earth could exist.
Beautiful blue avatars should exist.
Gerard Butler made an enchanting Phantom.
Space travel and adventure has thrilling possibilities.
I believe I am better off with these beliefs than if I was closed off to all the possibilities.
What do you believe?

“I do believe in God. I think God has given so much power

 to people, and intelligence, and said, 'Well, you are on your

 own. Maybe I'm tired, I need a nap. You are mature.

 Why don't you look after yourselves?' 

And I think He's been sleeping too much.”

from: Strength In What Remains

by: Tracy Kidder

This is me again..being an infant on the subject of prayer.
I visit this topic frequently.

So here it goes.... again.

I doesnt matter what I want, or what it is I think I need. It seem futile to me to 'ask' for anything. For as I understand things, God knows best, and I do not. God has the big picture. I do not.
So what is prayer?
The other day..while attending Stake Conference, I heard the speaker make an analogy for prayer. He used the symbol of a racquetball. He asked us to  picture  hitting a racquetball softly against the wall of the court, and to imagine how slowly the ball would then return to us.  Then he asked us to picture us hitting that ball with all the force we could muster, and to then imagine how quickly and forceably the ball would come back at us. His comparison went on...as he asked  us to envision  us lying down at night and mumbling a prayer without heart or intent..a weak plea, a weak hit.  How would the return look?  Then he asked us to think about an ardent and forceful, humble prayer...and couldnt we then imagine a 'return' with greater force?

Im asking....Does deliverance influence God in any way?
How does one pray with force when one already knows that its served back to us on the 'opponents' terms? (I cringe at the term 'opponent' for I dont believe on any level that God is an opponent. But go with me a bit more on this) So Im thinking that prayer isnt so much like racquetball as it is like tennis.  We are in control of the velocity of the racquetball we hit...but the wall is inademate.  In the game of tennis, we are at the mercy of our opponent and how he decides to lob the ball back at us.
Personal example:
Asking with force, fervor, tears, pain to have our business grow enough to support us, has been  an on going battle of wills for 2 years now. As a matter of fact...4 'players' are sending up that plea. God is listening. I believe that He is.  And yet He serves to us what He pleases.
And can you picture the pleading and anguish that God hears every night as we plead for the cure for cancer, or for  help with struggling kids?!  I suppose the return serve comes back..but its unrecognizable most times... its out of our league, and its never usually a forceful, record setting event.
Prayer is so very, very, very, very hard for me. Im not a fan of  vain repetitions. Im not much of a conversationalist either. If God already knows the answer before I ask...why ask, I ask?  I know He knows my heart, and I feel confident that He has already decided what to do in my "game."  No amount of pleading is going to make a difference. (and what if I were to ask amiss!!!??)
I already know that Im here on this earth to learn patience, humility and more patience. I've known this for a very long time. My game seems to be learning how to be happy in each moment, even though these moments look nothing like I expected or planned on.
Again,..will my asking God to help with kids who struggle have an affect on the  kids who also have a game plan not of my understanding...who have the right and gift to choose what they want?  They have choices and God has a plan for them. My prayers wont and maybe shouldnt change their 'game'.
My best attempts at prayer are always the thankfulness prayers, the gratitude prayers. Those come easily for me, and I suppose its important to be thankful.
Its the asking thats so very difficult. Its just like asking anything of my earthly father...its difficult. ( Counseling may be order)
Life is what it is. I suppose Im a bit of a fatalist. God has set me on a course, to prove and to try me. I have to make my way through...with as much gratitude as I can muster and with some flavor of hope.
Shall I pray for hope? Maybe thats the answer.
Stop praying for change; for money or puppies, or trips ...seriously though..I dont pray for these things...just success and happiness. Instead I should pray for the feelings of hope, and for peace where Im at. I could probably hit that prayer/ball right out of the park!!!
God...please grant me hope. Hope in the future..hope for the kids, and hope for friends who struggle with insurmountable trails and battles with cancer.

H-O-P-E

I think Im going to find a ball,...and write in great big letters with a Sharpee across it....H-O-P-E, and tuck it under my pillow.

Day One of my California Adventure

When active, strained vision only obscures and  frustrates,
looking away often permits the eye to see and interpret the shapes
 of what it sees.  Thus does inattention allow the mind to
register the still, small whisper of the daughter of the voice of God.
from: The BeeKeepers Apprentice
by: Laurie R King

Dearest Friend,                                                                                   9/5/13
Im on the train, with no cute paper to write on, but IM ON THE TRAIN!!
I had no idea it would take 2 1/2 hours to go from Ogden to Provo....its a fast train for petes sake. But no matter,,Im on a new adventure, and words cant begin to explain how excited, relieved and anticipatory I am for my Cally trip.  We used to

vacation a lot in days gone by. Now Im having a hard time remembering the last time I went away.
Can I just say I love trains!  They will always mean adventure to me!! Europe is ALL about trains and train stations. Oh how I revel in my memories of all the places I have been.  Just listening to this train brings some of those memories right back...the clicking and clacking and the weaving of the cars as they move along, the doors hissing open and closed. And all the different people coming and going to who knows where. Its the best!!! Just for your information...the bests trains are in Japan! Bullet trains defy imagination.
More random information...this Frontrunner cant even sell me a Pepsi-oh well-I wont let that trivial flaw get me down...Im happy to be here!
I cant wait to find you the perfect sea shell!! It'll be my mission. It'll be great!!

I plan to be on the beach every single day. I plan to learn to surf and to ride bikes, and eat lots of seafood..real seafood.
I know its  bad to start out on a trip with this encroaching attitude...but Im already trying not to think about returning home.  I need to put that out of  my mind and enjoy each day for the gift it is to be away and doing what I want to do. That will be my mantra for this trip.  ENJOY THE DAY...and stop thinking about the end of it all. Reality and Logan are hard to to swallow at times.

Since Im on the train, I wont be able to find the music and videos that you recommended me to listen to, but I promise to check them out soon.  I look forward to it.

The train is now speeding past Lagoon! Have you ever been there? I have good memories of that place too. Its not Disneyland...but we had fun there. I see that its closed for the season. So sad. That means winter is just around the corner.  Bah Humbug.

Ah...kissing on train platforms...so romantic.  silly me  This is only a commuter train.

When I get to Provo my boys will pick me up and we'll go to dinner somewhere yummy!! I think its going to be to a Pho place. Oh how I Love Pho!!  Theres a place in St George that makes pretty respectable Pho. You should try it some time. Its delish!!
Then it'll be early to bed and EARLY to rise  and start our road trip!!! Whoot whoot!!! Its going to be a 91/2 hour drive. I love road trips!!

(I suppose we are definitely going faster than the cars on the highway...so why in the world is this going to take 21/2 hours?!!?) oh yeah...Im supposed to remember to enjoy the journey!! Im too excited to nap, though the rocking and sway of the cars is conductive to sleep.

I see that I've begun to ramble. Sorry.
I'll sign off now and write again from sunny, bright California!!
Love you!!

P.S.- did you know that short shorts are back!?!?  I know we shouldnt want to wear them... but they take me back to my good ol days-BC-before church.  When my hubby describes our meeting one another (at USU) it always includes a description of my white short shorts. Silly me.  Naughty me. Silly hubby.

P.S.S.- I love Sara Bareilles!!  I guess I shouldnt be surprised that I havent heard of any of the other artists you mentioned. Im old, remember?  Do I dare admit to you that I like country music? Did you know that about me? I love a good story set to music.

How about this random fact...I had a goal...I wrote about it on my blog.  I wanted to learn how to ride my bike without hands.  Guess what!!!??  I can do it now!!  Im pretty proud of myself.  Its a simple pleasure.  Hopefully it empowers me to conquer the waves and to learn to surf!!

(Now I see why it takes so long to get to Provo!!! we are creeping,,,really creeeeeping through the Salt Lake valley, and making lots of stops.)
You had no idea you'd be receiving a travel log from me did you?

The Salt Lake mountains sure are beautiful. No one could dispute that.

There are some other wild things I'd like to do while in California:
-get a tattoo
-ride a bike to Mexico
-spend lots of money...but it takes money to spend money
-see a shark
-see dolphins

As soon the train rounded the point of the mountain and entered Utah Valley, the clouds began to do their 10 Commandment thing over the mountains. And it began to drizzle.  I didnt write my friend about what I could see through my train window because I was too enthralled by what I was witnessing.  When the train pulled into the Provo station and I disembarked - there was a magical double rainbow framing the tall peaks right in front of me.
I took it as a sign.
...as an omen.
This trip to California was going to be all that I hoped it to be. I had an even greater sense of anticipation than before.

I also didnt write to my friend about finding the perfect Pho restaurant with my boys and their women! I didnt tell her how happy I was to share the hugest most delicious bowl of deliciousness with Jenna!! (did I say delicious enough!?!?!)  And about how it felt to spend time with my grown up children.
It was such a lovely evening.
I also must  mention that my Good Builder sent me off on this adventure with his blessing.  With nary a whispered breath of complaint.  He did nothing or said nothing to make me feel guilty for going. (There must have been a 'look' in my eyes....???)

Stay tuned for Day Two of my  California adventure. An adventure that had nothing to do with amusement parks, but had everything to do with rest, relaxation and recharging and the sea.

Peace friends

So...Im Wondering...

The line between defeat and immortality is sometimes as

thin as thread.  One never knows how close one stands.

from: The Passion of Artemisia

by: Susan Veeland

I have a bucket list item here.

If I continue to pedal my bike...Mon thru Friday to work and back, from now until the snow flies...will I be able to master the fine skill of riding with no hands?
I've started practicing.  And Im keenly disappointed by my lack of progress.  For just a few milliseconds my hand can hover just  above the handlebar..but then I quickly have to grab hold and adjust.  Heaven knows Im terrifed at the thought of a crash and burn on the asphalt...especially at my age.  But I think Im more terrified at no longer  being able to do new things.
So do you think I can learn?
Or, more accurately, can I re-learn?
I had this as a teenager.
I really want it back. I want the sense of accomplishment.  I want to overcome the fear.  I want the rush of adrenaline from days of my youth.
For I am wise enough to know that I probably shouldnt take on one of my other wilder dreams...to long board.  Biking without hands seems more doable. ...and easier than learning to long board..and its probably safer too.
This old bird wants to learn new tricks.
So each morning on my way to work and each afternoon as I return home I will try to remove my hands from the grips of the bike for longer periods of time...until I succeed!!

P.S.- Im also thinking about making a halter top from 2 bandannas...then the drean will be complete!!

Peace

SO HERE'S MY NEW TO DO LIST

Patience and boredom are closely related.  Boredom, a

certain kind of boredom, is really impatience.  You dont

like the way things are, they arent interesting enough for

you, so you decide - and boredom is a decision- that you are bored.

from: The Geography of Bliss

by: Eric Weiner

Yoga turtle

#1 Make lists. - Lately I seem to be happy to do nothing.  Making a list and checking off accomplishments is a good thing.
#2 Make time to hike. - Im forgetting what it feels like to hike, to sweat, and to make it to a summit.
#3 Attend the temple. - Once a week was great. Once a month is doable.
#4 Start doing yoga. - $2 bucks is a small price to pay for kicking the rigamortis that is setting in to the curb.
#5 Have backyard parties. - We have a nice backyard, and I have a list of people I want to share it with.
#6  Create a new bucket list. Old one has disappeared...and its time to start looking forward to things again.
#7 Quit eating crap. - On the job eating is killing me.
#8 Show My Builder some appreciation. - He deserves it. We should hike together. (see #2)
#9 Improve the abode. - Home improvement projects are fun. There is Always something to do.
#10 Write every day. -Even if its only a list.  It could turn into something much more.
#11 Be a better grandparent. -Spend the time, and be creative.
#12 Cook again.  -Its time to do my part.
#13 Keep up appearances. I love my new dooo...and Im going to keep it that way.
#14 Find an app for my phone..for keeping lists. -duh
#15 Read again.  Its been months since I've cracked a book. Ive had one in my purse for ages.
#16 Sweat through the DT's of coming off Tumblr and Solitaire. -Limit it to minutes, not hours.
#17 Begin NOW!

Wish me luck...Peace

Expectations is the place you must always go to

before you get to where you're going. Of course,

some people never go beyond Expectations, but my

job is to hurry them along whether they like it or not.

from: Phantom Tollbooth

by: Norton Juster

People have wondered where I've gone...
Why Im not writing..

Well the short answer is .... "its complicated."
The next easiest answer is..."I lost my 'voice,' my muse, my inspiration.
In other words- the wind was taken from my sails.

But I miss it...a lot.

Lately I've been searching for a new muse, a new direction, a new ' look.'
I may be sneaking up on something.

As most everyone knows, Im no longer gathering coral dust between my toes. (instead Im  acquiring a filmy layer of grease and grime on my beloved hiking shoes, from The Grill.)
Life without my red rock and sun and a constant supply of vitamin D that I once enjoyed has now turned into a search for tender mercies that I know are freely given..from my new vantage point here in 'outer darkness.' (My pasty white skin and flabby muscles will attest to the changes going on in my life too.)
Im a broken woman. I've been humbled. But I read in the scriptures that having a broken heart and contrite spirit means having a heart that has been split wide open to let new and wonderful enlightenment enter to in..manifesting God's love to me.  

I have days when I feel Im in the pit of despair. 
I've wallowed well in self-pity.
I've ached for what I no longer have, until Im sick.
I've been angry and bitter and not to nice to live with sometimes.

And yet somehow I have kept some hope alive.  For without hope, what would become of me?
..a constantly bitter, wallowing woman...going nowhere fast...not a pretty picture.

So I now see myself becoming a collector of miracles..of tender mercies that touch my broken heart. 
There will be small and magnificent miracles documented here...from this time forth.
I wont be seeing them on hiking trails any longer...(at least not until spring) But I will see them. I  see them now, all around me.  
A BFF of mine suggested a 'miracle calender.' But Im attached to blogging..so Im going to keep track here and share what I learn  with you...and hopefully you can 'share' your miracles with me too.   
Tomorrow (or the next day) I will begin!
It'll be a list of what I now fondly call our "wedding miracles"
Its a lengthy list. And Im looking forward to sharing it with you. 

It feels good to be back!!
I have felt your love and encouragement and its GREATLY appreciated.
Peace out Friends! 

On the macro scale, I perceive what physicists tell us

is true on the micro: Even in chaos there is order,

purpose, and strange meaning that invites- but often

thwarts -our investigation and our understanding.

from: Odd Thomas

by: Dean Koontz

 Any ideas on what to do with Spaghetti Squash!! We have a few!!!

I cant believe its already been a week since we harvested and canned tomatoes!! Today we arent even going to think about tomatoes!   Our garden is producing like crazy...but the weather is really cooling down at night, so I think its slowing things down out there a little.  Whew!!

10 baby ducks are supposed to be delivered some time this week!  Its amazing what can be shipped through the postal service.  Cant wait to meet them.

My job...makes me feel my age.  Additionally...Im gaining weight..which I hate!!  I work harder than I have in many years...and Im gaining weight!! The food we serve is too tempting and all around me!! Im so exhausted at the end of my shift that I can barely pedal home...My Builder comes and rescues me more often than not and throws my bike in the back and drives me home, where I collapse on the bed and cant move while my feet throb and ache.  Poor pitiful me. (not really)  Im grateful for the work and I enjoy the people I work with.  I just need to toughen up and stop EATING!!!   PS- Im so very grateful for the restorative power of sleep!! I sleep like a baby and can get up the next morning feeling fit enough to take on another day at The Grill!!

My Church job...it keeps me hopp'in.  This week we had what is called Enrichment meeting. It was a wonderful success..due to the committee chairs and their creativity.  Lots of ladies showed up and we had a marvelous time playing 'get to know' you games..which we desperately need.  The names of all the women are beginning to stick. Whew


My family....seems to be getting along just fine without me.  Which of course is a good thing.  Brian is enjoying his first semester of college and ROTC.  I think ROTC is his favorite time of the week though. I've proof-read a paper from both Brian and Rob...and am so happy to help.  Joe is stick'in to the hard things too...he's still attending his early morning (7:00am) class and all the others! Plus, he's looking  for a different part time job...Walmart stocking wasnt working for him!! Clark's class load isnt for the faint hearted and he seems to thrive with the challenge; plus doing what he can to keep sweet Jenna happy and interested. Ahhh..to be young again!!!

Extracurricular activities- I spend too much time on facebook, more than I probably should. I'm the 'marketing specialist' for  Sherwood Forest and now for The Center Street Grill, and for Rob and Utah Mortgage!! I really enjoy the challenge and the research process.  I think I may be making a real difference and that feels good!!  (The Center Street Grill gig is a paying venture!!)
I havent read  a whole book in weeks. sigh.  I fall asleep.
Its so hard to get to the Temple. sigh.  I fall asleep.
This is the first 'writing' I've done in weeks. I'm too tired and lack inspiration...
speaking of which...
Where is my inspiration? Is it in the dishwater at work? Is it in the shake machine that splatters shake matter across the front of my turquoise T-shirt no matter how hard I try to not have it happen?  Is it in the fry sauce squirt bottles that seem to have mysterious vacuum- like void at their bottoms, for they never stay full!!??  What do people do with all the fry sauce!!!??? Do they fill their pocket with it, or are they emptying it into their  to-go mugs to take it home to their kids? Im quite sure we go through at least a gallon of the stuff a day!! No kidding!!! (It's a secret recipe....maybe folks are smuggling it out and taking it to a lab for testing....)  Can my inspiration be found in the lonely old men who come in every single morning for their coffee, biscuts and gravy with hashbrowns?  As I evesdrop...with great descression...I hear them talking about the same things, complaining about the same things, and am filled with mixed emotions.  Some of them are as sweet as can be..and are quick with a hello and a generous tip...and we love them. And some of them are as grouchy as cats with their hairs bent back!...and they are so much more difficult to love;  instead I feel I want to lecture them on attitude adjustments!!  Needless to say..inspiration seems to be in short supply around here lately.

Sweet Anna spent way too many hours on the couch with me last night..helping me to figure out how to  'slurp' my first year of my blog into book form. It looks like I may have to rob a bank in order to pay for such a treasure between two covers...for we are only half way through it ...and we are up to 50 plus pages of pictures and my ramblings. But..it feels like a worthwhile project and would be money well spent. Im up to   wiping down, and clearing a lot more tables. I can wash more spoons and greasy floors and tolerate the grouchy old men...and some disagreeable  young folks too, for such a treasure!!! I will grovel for tips!!
Its been so fun going back and remembering 2007!!!  Check it out if you'd like to see what Im talking about!

Hope your weekend is delightful friends!!

.

I know what is said about why coincidences so often

 happen; that there actually are only twelve people

 in the world and the rest is done with mirrors.

from: Ride With Me Moriah Montana

by: Ivan Doig

Dear Cousin Ann,
Just thought you'd like to know that Im finding it incredibly surreal to  be calling the lower east side of Logan home now.  This is your home.  This is where I came for summer visits to see you when we were young.   Every day I travel the street  that you did as you grew up here.  There were sheep grazing on the corner lot years ago--which is just across the street from where we're living. There are no sheep there now. I remember being impressed by the raging Logan River and all the shaded irrigation canals, lush with vegetation, like huge weeping willows, that begged to be tubed down. I have fond memories of standing on the bank of 1st Dam Reservoir with your dad, early in the morning, catching trout and bringing them home to fry up for breakfast. YUM!  Now I take Canyon Rd on foot and admire the fine park and all the ducks that now enjoy the reservoir too.   I see the house where your piano teacher lived. I remember that your house was full of music, books and cool Scandinavian furniture. And did you know that the house next door to where you lived still has a red door?  The pizza parlor on top of the hill is still there too.  Do you remember the foxy boy that worked there?  I now hike that hill frequently and walk past that pizza place; I bet there are still handsome boys working there..but Im no longer invested.
How come I dont ever remember going into that cute little market on the corner of 400 East and Center St. for a soda or a Twinkie? I go in there all the time now.  They are well stocked!!! I needed  jalapeno peppers...and there they were!! ...and of course I cant resist the fresh donuts sitting on the counter under the cake glass as they bagged up my peppers and T.P. and paper plates.
Its so strange to be going to church in your old neighborhood. (How come I cant remember going to church with you way back when?  Was it because I wasnt a Mormon then?)  Or was I just too kookie a cousin from hip California to grace the halls? Im sure it was totally obvious I wasnt the church go'in type.  Back then I was just boy crazy.
Even our Mill is a stones throw away from where your dad had his lab...surreal....
Sure I went to college here for a year, but I didnt have cause to come down to 'The Island" ...except to visit your mom on rare occasions.  Oh yeah...I remember your mom being an excellent cook, and that she was incredibly patient with me.
I feel like I live in the 'Ann shadow' here.  I feel like I should ask each 'old-timer' I meet at church or in the neighborhood if they know you or your family.  oh yea....I've learned that your house is now a notorious party house...how weird is that!!!?
The Mall  is still pathetic...but we now have a Sam's Club and 2 Walmarts. wow
You should be here dear cousin.  It feels so strange to be here without you.
Love and Miss you,
Cindy

Tut, tut, looks like rain.

from: Winnie the Pooh

by: A.A. Milne

I love the way I can now wake up in the morning...my eyes barely opening, and look out of the window and only see the vivid greens of the tops of trees.  This morning there was the quiet patter of tiny drops of rain kissing the leaves timidly.  As I became less sleepy-headed and more awake I heard thunder in the distance. As I cozyed up in my stack of pillows for my morning reading of the Book of Mormon...before getting up to start the day, the rain began to pellet the leaves, the windowpanes and the thunder was just down the street.
Ahhh....


When we moved to St George 13 years ago, I remember the evenings' magnificent thunder and lightening storms.  They were impressive.  And then, over time, it seemed that the frequency of the storms diminished...down to now not being able to remember the last one....


Logan seems to now be repeating my history...rain and thunderstorms seems to be a fairly common occurrence...thus the lush green vegetation, and the grass that grows faster than the hair on my legs.


Now I'm going to have to once again risk life and limb  in an attempt to wash the rain drop marks off the outside of the upper window...  
but I'll gladly take the rain...its a nice change.
I'll take the heavenly smells of a summer storm.


Peace!!!








.

Sabbath Musings

Maybe you think that carrots are less important than cows.

 I think they're equal, especially in a sauce."

Sherman Alexie

is for Omnivore

It was long ago..in my illuminating college days, that I read in some behavioral type text book, that children are more likely to develop the eating habits of their father, as opposed to how/what the mother eats.
Stay with me now...I can feel you slipping away as Im sure you are now thinking about your own dad and what made him happy when he saddled up to the dinner table.  I know Im right....come back.
Im quite sure I've already referred to my own dad as being a veracious carnivore.  He could hold his own in any lions' den, for he seems most content when his red meat is swimming in its own red juices; grilled, but still cool inside. And my mother, being the dutiful and good wife that she is, complied to his appetite , and served up almost every night, a slab of meat, potatoes, veggies and a salad.  On the flip side..I know for a fact that my mom prefers thick, ooey gooey casseroles, full of flavors, textures and sauces.  We had very few of of these growing up...which on one hand  could be cause for yet another debate as well...for missing out on all those cheeses and sauces is probably a good thing.  I do remember a dish she called Italian Delight that she made for us, which was delicious, (and I have yet to be able to duplicate) which we enjoyed mostly when dad was out of town.
It turns out that the behavioral science book was right...at least about me and my brother and our eating habits...we both grew up loving red meat..for I do indeed love  a good steak, pot roast or hamburger. (pink inside for me please.)
You may be wondering where Im going with all this food rambling...
Well....I've been thinking about what we Mormons call The Word of Wisdom or the "Lords Law of Health." 
The Word of Wisdom is a revelation given to Joseph Smith in the early 1800's and contains many of our health laws that make  us 'famous,' such as not drinking alcohol, tea or coffee.  But, what we Mormons seem to easily overlook is the part about eating meat vs. eating grains and veggies.  The scripture read:

10 And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbsGod hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—

11 Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.

12 Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;

13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.

14 All grain is ordained for the use of man and of beasts, to be the staff of life, not only for man but for the beasts of the field, and the fowls of heaven, and all wild animals that run or creep on the earth;

15 And these hath God made for the use of man only in times of famine and excess of hunger.

16 All grain is good for the food of man; as also the fruit of the vine; that which yieldeth fruit, whether in the ground or above the ground

I sometimes question if this means that Mormons should be Vegetarians. After a little bit of research, I discovered there are a few levels of Vegetarianism, one of which is called “Flexetarianism” or “Semi-Vegitariansim”. This is defined as a Vegetarian (someone who doesn’t eat meat) in most cases, but sometimes eats meat.
Therefore, I would say that if a Mormon is strictly adhering to the Word of Wisdom, they are only eating meat in extreme situations, or in other words, occasionally. So being an omnivore isnt quite 'right.' which sucks!!.
Occasional means something different though to many people. For some, occasional means once a day. To others, occasional could mean once a year. According to the Word of Wisdom, occasional (as outlined above) means only in rare circumstances, or in the winter. I've been watching my good brother practice this for a few years now...we havent really talked about it...I've just noticed it and wondered what he was thinking, when eating meat only when its cold outside.  Now Im getting it.
The Word of Wisdom ends with a promise for those who follow it, that they will receive “health to their navel and marrow to their bones” and they will be able to “run and not be weary and walk and not faint”. These are amazing promises, promises I wish to enjoy...for the rest of the time I have here on this earth.
I’ll admit, it's not going to be easy giving up the meat, the difficulty  ranks up there with giving up Pepsi...almost.   I've been conditioned to 'need' protein. Therefore, I include meat in my diet at least once/day.  Maybe if I were to become a "True" Mormon which most of us are not it seems, and follow the Word of Wisdom more strictly, I should learn to enjoy beans...ugh!! and other alternative proteins.  Living next to David and Anna and our summer garden will help of course. Fresh tomato sandwiches!! YUM!!
Heres to wishing me luck and fortitude...AGAIN!!!
Now Im going to go out and get a meat-lovers pizza in celebration of my new resolve.  te he

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals.

 I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A. Whitney Brown

.

10 Memories I'll Never Forget

"Time is longer than rope." an old Carib proverb

that Mimi loved to share. And now I understand.

from: The Many Lives and Secret Sorrows of Josephine B

by: Sandra Gulland

ONE:  The birth of all my babies, each one being unique and wonderful, just as each of my kids are unique and wonderful!  And...the Hypno-birth that my daughter accomplished...miraculous!!


TWO: The night My Builder asked me to marry him!!  Memorable and spiritual!!


THREE: Hiking Orderville Canyon in Zion...its the water!! Hiking into Havasupi for the first time...its the water!!!


FOUR: Homemade blackberry pies of Oregon.


FIVE: Lachlan making us grandparents!!


SIX: Lobster for breakfast in Maine


SEVEN: Standing at the feet of Michelangelo's  DAVID in Florence Italy.


EIGHT:  Italy's air, Cancun's water, and the smell of a wet desert.


NINE: Swimming with sea turtles and dolphins


TEN: Watching Jurassic Park for the first time. (random but true)

MIMI MONDAY

Bones are patient.  Bones never tire nor do they run away.

When you come upon a man who has been dead many years,

his bones will still be lying there, in place, content, patiently

waiting, but his flesh will have gotten up and left him. Water

is like flesh.  Water will not stand still.  It is always off to some-

where else; restless. talkative, and curious.  Even water is a 

covered jar will disappear in time.  Flesh is water. Stones are 

like bones. Satisfied. Patient. Dependable.  Tell me, then, Alobar,

in order to achieve immortality, should you emulate water or stone?

Should you trust your flesh or your bones?

from: Jitterbug Perfume

by: Tom Robbins

Liam

Mimi's tear ducts behave improperly late at night when the house is quiet and dark and when Im in  a reclining position.  Im not sure what it is about this combination of factors that lead to such leaking.  It might have to do with there being no furniture left in our house anymore, and the sad echos this creates. But more likely it has to do with my thoughts getting carried away and falling into an abyss while  thinking of all the "lasts" that will happen this week.  Im a mess.  And I have no real right to be.  For I know that there are dear people that will read this post and roll their eyes or stomp their feet in righteous protest to my selfish pity party.  I know I have no right to whine!! None whatsoever!!
SO maybe last nights tears had more to do with feeling so very bad about not just my paltry struggle.... its highly probable that the tears were about quite a few people that I know and love that are struggling with REAL pain and hardships.
Old Mimi is just plain sad today...sad for all the pain, sorrow and struggles in the world.  Sad that there arent real answers and cures.  Sad that change is hard this time.  Sad knowing that Im not the only one with a soggy pillow at night.
A good friend lost her husband/lover to the greedy dust this weekend.
A few of my friends have joined the burgeoning  ranks of financial insecurity.
Another has had the wind knocked clear out of her sails...and she is a beautiful vessel.
Another's mate has a mysterious illness...plus, they have fallen out of love.
Another has a grown child in prison who cant deal with her addiction.
And one friend is so sick and patiently waits for a much needed surgery while the insurance company plays patty-cake.
and on and on and on..
So yes, Im sad that I have the audacity to be sad at all. And Im sad that I am powerless to help others in their despair!!

You know...this is really too heavy  for MIMI MONDAY...
My ramblings  began with thinking about my tear duct problem...and imagining my hike today with a dear friend who wants to see Moke marbles, thinking it would be my "last."  ha!!
The flood gates really opened when I realized the farce of this thinking. I looked deeper...I looked around me..and know that my woes are nothing compared to others and their REAL trials!! My trial is a mere molecule of H2O in the reservoir of sorrows of dear friends around me.
So I resolve that for at least the next 24 hours, and hopefully much longer, I will stop with the horizontal leaking problem and make the most of what I have been given in the here and now. I have LOTS of questions for God...but thats a whole other post...for another day.

Perceived "lasts" that arent really lasts:
Zoey...for when we visit we will see her, hike with her and get a hug
Hiking on "my" red rock...I will hike whenever I come to visit..I will hike until I too am taken by the insatiable dust.
Friends-thank heaven for Facebook, phones and road trips!!
Grandbabies-ditto..and I will now learn to  Skype!!
Folks - lots of return visits already scheduled on the calender for the spring and summer!


Real "lasts"-
The rest of March 2012  in St George....
My stewardship over "my" fine Young Women and girls camp
Watching impressive swans and Canada geese fly over head from one golf course pond to the other.
and probably some others that Im so completely in denial about that I cant think of them right now....

Peace out my Little Ones...Mimi is still always learning and growing...always.

.

Mysteries require judgments and the assessment of

uncertainty, and the hard part is not that we have

too little information but that we have too much.

From: What the Dog Saw

by:

 is for:

Just a few months....

Imagine with me if you will- that darling, bundled up caroler on your front step just a few weeks ago- it being the last caroler you'd ever enjoy hearing sing your favorite Christmas tunes.

Imagine those yummy chocolate orange sticks and candy canes that only appear on the shelves at Christmas time, being the last you'd ever sample.

Imagine being told that you have just a few months to live.

Suddenly now everything becomes “ the last.”

The last New Years.

The last Valentines Day

The last birth of a grandchild.

The last turkey carved and eaten.

The last Presidential Election.

The last winter.

The last spring.

The last new moon.

Etc

etc

etc!

There I was, sitting in a dear friends living room...hearing his catastrophic diagnosis...and I groped for understanding and wondered  what that would be like...to have such devastating news delivered to my ears and heart .

My mind has been crashing and thrashing with the possibilities...

It seems that cancer is now the new plague.

If those dreaded cells were taking over my internal organs one by one and there was no hope of beating them back...What would I DO? What would I think? What would I regret?

How would I react if I just had a few months?

I suppose its not surprising that my mind first went to the place where Hollywood is famous for going. Great wealth is supplied...and then the possibilities are endless.

And even if that were true...and a bank funded my pre-death experiences...I see that my story would differ from Hollywoods' version. It wouldnt be about extravagant things. (with the possible exception of a NICE car...rental of course, and a ticket for that flight on an F16)

Instead I would wish to somehow disrupt the lives of my family...expecting them  all to take up temporary residence on some tropical shoreline, south of here....WAY SOUTH OF HERE!! South of Cancun would do nicely.

Spending my last days floating on a bright green air mattress bobbing on the waves of the Gulf with my family around me would suit me just fine.

Yes...

Im a dreamer. I've always been accused of being unrealistic. Wanting something and reality are two different beasts.

Undoubtedly I would NOT be able to disrupt my family's lives...for my drama.

This would be the first “regret” on my list of regrets.

Regret #1-Real life getting in the way of dreams.

So...If I had just a few months, and I couldnt live it out on a beach...with my family.... my whole family, and money was no object...

(Money is always the object.)

Then what!!!?

First lets make the list with the idea that money is easily come by: ha!!( I know Im wasting time...but its an interesting exercise in dreaming.)

How about a HUGE motor home in which to see this extraordinary country. With all the family squeezed in nice and cozy. Road trips are the best!! We'd do Disney World, eat Maine lobster to our hearts content, Maryland crabcakes, see Mt Rushmore and the Black Forest; enjoy Vancouver ferry rides and gardens, & Seattles chowder, and we'd hunt all over for the best pies and french fries made in the good ol U.S. of A. Maybe I'd even give Fargos' winter a try?

If money werent the issue, I'd hire a chef that would cook us delicious meals and clean up afterwards. We'd get a larger dining room table and everyone would have a place at the board.

(Are you depressed yet...or just very hungry??!

or...and this is more likely...are you disappointed in my worldliness?)

Its been a sobering exercise. But at the same time enlightening.

For me-

Its all about family.

About making memories.

Would I die with regrets...most assuredly.

Some might be-

not seeing Italy again.

not living in NYC for a time.

not telling my dad to be nicer to my mom.

Somehow not being able to convince Joe that I love him as much as any of my kids.

Not doing the long dreamed of bike ride down the coast of California, starting at the Redwood Forest.

I would regret not having time to serve a mission for my church with My Builder...

I wouldnt miss not having jumped out of a plane.

I would bring my son home from his mission early!! Yes I would...may lightening strike me I would!!!

I wouldnt get drunk or stoned.

Though I have a strong suspicion I'd take back the joys of Pepsi.

If I dont find myself on a beach, I'd attempt to be blissfully happy here at home in my peaceful desert.

It just might not be about the places in the world I havent seen... (though that is sometimes hard to imagine it not being about that too.)

All week as I have been pondering this...my zoom lens has focused in...

and I have been a little depressed....

but I have learned some things about me.

 I  thought it would be “fun” to learn from you as well... So I asked the question...”what would you DO if you had just a few months to live?”

The answers that came in were far more cerebral than mine...not surprisingly.

I live in the moment.

Im emotional

and unrealistic, remember.

So here are some of the responses of friends and family:

Sabine from Waterloo, Canada:

WOW!!!! I think. if healthy enough, I would want to see all the people I care about that are all over the world. It`s not about travelling but seeing everybody I can again, until I see them again in heaven. Ths is a spontaneous answser without having really thought it through but those are usually the answers``from the heart` And without joking around St George would be part of my trip.

Lizzy...from Young Womens:


Months?? Well attending the temple and finishing the Book of Mormon would be on my top 5 things to do. And for the sake of it..... Let's just say i'm 16  I would really like to kiss someone before I die. I would also apologize to anyone I have hurt or anyone that I have been or am still angry with. I would also write a letter to every person that has made an impact in my life. That way they will always have something to remember me by and they will also understand that they made my life better. Meeting the prophet would be nice but my family and friends are the people I would want to be spending my time with, doing what ever makes them all happy.


from my nephew Ryan:

• Ah, that is difficult. Well first I would quit my job. Then I would probably spend my time reading the scriptures, going to the temple and sharing the gospel with my friends. I might also consider making my feelings known for a certain girl. 
• I would definitely be completely open and honest with everyone.
  
  
  From Lisa, one of my 18 yr old Young Women:
  
  
  Spend all the time I could with those I love and get closer to my savior. It'd be nice to see the world and go places you've always dreamed. Cherish every moment
  
  
  from McCarey...whom I love...
  
  : I would spend time traveling the world with people I loved. I would want to volunteer in third world countries and meet people from all over the world. I would want to hear what different people from different places had to say about life. I would spend A lot of time praying to see what I believed and felt.
  
  Cherie  a hiking friend, responded-
  
  I think the main answer for me would be to spend as much time as I can with my family. I would also want to create memory books or something for each of my kids with mementos and a letter telling them what they mean to me with hopes for their future, etc.
  If able, I would also love to travel possibly to a couple places with my family. Top of the list would be Rome Italy where I went to high school. Also possibly Germany where I met my husband and had my 1st child and my 1st real job.
  That is what comes to mind now.
  
  Lisa, another good hiking buddy said:
  
  After I have a good cry and wonder how I got myself into this situation (because I would automatically assume I did something to cause it...)
  My Initial thought would be what I'd need to do to get my house in order?
  Is my will in order, do I have a living will, where is my insurance paperwork, etc.
  I would then write out a plan as to how I want to spend my time and who I want to spend it with.
  
  Thank you friends!! YOu are all loved and appreciated and respected!!!
  
  
  .