Patience is the calm acceptance

that things can happen in a different

 order than the one you have in mind.

-David G. Allen

Our tiny home didnt come with a koi pond ...(someday I'll have the pond of my dreams.)
So there's a Plan B.  My Builder and I are now the proud owners of a 40 gallon fish tank..which is the perfect  thing for our tiny home.  We've decked it out in minimalist style and we are very happy with the results. We went to the local PetSmart and picked out a few new, wet friends:  Gerald, and Francis...to begin with. Welcome to our tiny  home beauties!!
Bringing these  creatures into our home  caused me to feel remorse and  even guilt  for having banished Alfredo the Dove to the Mill since moving to the T.H.  I had felt that there was no room in our inn for a dove and his bulky cage.  But alas...he was missed...so he has now joined us here in our small, green metal house .  Our tiny home is indeed tiny...so Im not sure yet where he'll stay...for every nook and cranny is precious...but he has been restored to his proper place.  He's a beautiful bird and I am soothed by his cooing, so he's a welcomed addition to our home.  His beauty and consolatory ways were wasted at the Mill. Guinea Pigs and hamsters cant possibly appreciate his many attributes. His talents were wasted there! Now there is no more guilt in knowing that he wasnt seeing sunshine or in being denied the freedom of hanging out on the back of the couch watching life happening around him.  How boring it must have been...living at the Mill..watching My Builder and David weigh and measure rodent food for all the furry critters there.  He and I are now going to try and patiently wait for warmer weather...so that we both can spend more time hanging out outside again. Patient we are going to have to be.

Bereavement is the unwelcome current that forced you

 to an unintended harbor.  But, here, perhaps, the 

 vessel lies that will carry you onward

 to the place where you were always meant to go.

from: Caleb's Crossing

by: Geraldine Brooks

Those that know me..have known quite plainly that My Builder and I have been on a tempestuous journey these last 3-4 years.  I havent been quite silent about our woes.
Nothing has gone as we envisioned. This road is unfamiliar...and sometimes difficult....and long, long, long--requiring much patience.
Having said this about myself I realize as the same time that most people I know can say the exact same things.  I am not unique.  (no kidding)
All us seem to be saying these same things:

"nothing is for sure."

"Who pulled the rug out from under us!!!??"

"Why us!!??"

I add to the list of questions, this poignant inquiry:
Why does the most faithful, devout, valiant man I know and love, My Builder, have to struggle so??!!

....and on and on and on I can go...and have gone.

There are still no answers coming my way. Heaven is silent for me.  But Im assuming that its mostly my fault that it seems this way, for I have NOT remained valiant, faithful, humble or devout.  I have struggled mightily with hope, faith and patience and understanding.

But I feel a glimmer of light on the horizon...for no apparent reason. There is no explanation or change in me, except for a softening of my own heart.  The reasons for this warming of my heart may be mystical/spiritual or worldly...for both  are connected...for everything is spiritual. After 3 years of what has felt at times like outer darkness...I feel a shift...in me.

Here are a few things I may attribute this change of heart to:

#1 a better job.  I do miss my friends at The Grill, but I do NOT miss the work. Every day I appreciate my PE job. What a great gig it is!!  And I choose to believe that it was the 'inspiration' of a great lady to tell me to apply.  How glorious it is to fall in love with 340 kids!! How can that not do anything but soften this heart of mine?

#2 winter began mercifully mild this year.   I know it will get worse...it already has...but I appreciated every warm, sunny December day.

And lastly, but probably most importantly, we have our own little home. I call it fondly- our tiny home.
I will probably always feel just a tinge of shame (for pride yet yields its ugly head) when I have to say out loud that I  live in a trailer park, in a puke green mobile home, 8th down on the right.  But as soon as I step indoors, its home, its cozy and nice.

So dont tell anyone...but Im truly enjoying our tiny home!!

It turns out that the simple life is good for me.
I enjoying lessening our footprint and letting go of stuff!!
I enjoying even more having no cause to accumulate stuff either!! For there is no room!!!
Tiny home is easy to keep clean.
We have amazing views here..of both mountain ranges. 360derees of beauty!
The financial freedom is liberating and a gift. We have no worries on that account. Its payed for!!
Rain on the tiny homes' metal roof is a lovely thing.
The tiny home has someone else to take care of the yard...mowing and watering are no longer our responsibility.

I havent a clue, not one morsel of a clue what the future holds for us...but...Tiny home is a blessing..and Im grateful for it right now.