This Is How My Week Looked

There came a time, he realized, when the strangeness of everything

 made it increasingly difficult to realize the strangeness of anything.

from: Lost Horizon

by: James Hilton

(I wish this was the scene at our house)

The mailbox that hangs by our front door contained a water bill.  A water bill so exorbitantly high that it was cause for serious alarm.  A hole was dug...to investigate.  Come to find out that there is a leak...leak is the wrong word..for that suggest a dripping...a small giser might describe it better...from the main water line to the house. It became the city's problem.  But alas..it seems to be my problem still..for it still spouts water into an unseen underground stream somewhere.  The city has done nothing but put up an orange barrier around the hole and have not returned to repair it.  The tree hugger in me is fuming.  So much water wasted.  100s of thousands of gallons!! And I see no way to stop the madness!!

The  sweet boss lady at work called me the sexiest waitress in the joint.  I know shes lying. (that would be a sad state of affairs if she werent)  But she loves me.  And of course there is a part of me that wants to believe her.

Today's Sunday School lesson gave me fits. (I suppose they all will)  Todays topic was Baptisms for the Dead.
Ugh
But I suppose it'll be a walk in Merlin Olsen Park compared to the lesson coming up in 2 weeks.  The subject matter ... The martyrdom of Joseph Smith.  (Did I already tell you that I dont enjoy the Doctrine and Covenants?) Teaching is even harder than I imagined it would be.

I'm back to the point that I'll give up food before I'll give up my beloved Pepsi. And I often do.  For so long...when I was on the wagon...I would tell people and myself that I didnt want to drink my calories. Well you woulnt recognize me now...as I blissfully guzzle them down now.

Its been quite a few years since I've done any water bath canning.  This week  I bottled some delicious apricots.  They'll help this winter to be a little brighter.  Thats the hope anyway.  They already make me happy, just lined up there on the counter.

The semi-annual Man vs Grill took place this week at Center Street Grill.
There was barfing.
And there were a couple of "winners."
Are you really a 'winner' of you can shove down a 3 1/2 pound burger in less than 45 minutes?
You decide.
I got to clean up.
ps- the grill wins ...the majority of the time.

My Builder promised me a puppy.
But I can't remember how long he said I'd have to wait.

How do you spell T-E-N-S-E?
There is rabbit food news.  There are several very hopeful prospects and possibilities for improvements.  But I cant talk about them....for I 'get too emotional.'  Maybe after it becomes old news I can then discuss it with My Builder. Maybe then My Builder and I can talk again.  The same thing goes for conversing about the future....I 'get too emotional.'  So we dont talk about that either.  What do we talk about?  The promise of puppies and our beautiful grands. That'll do.

More hot flashes.
Less sleep.

WEST WING..out new favorite tv series.  Plus there is no need for talking. We watch, we laugh, we learn. Not a bad deal.  Thank you good actors and writers for such a great show!

Im reading again!!  Im halfway through a wonderful book. Its the one I was carrying around in my purse for so long.  Its a treat.  And all you readers out there have undoubtedly read it already...The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society...(quite a mouth full.)   I can now   check # 15 off the below list.  Whew.

Not a bad week my friends.
Peace

SABBATH WHINING

“Oh, mercy. If it catches you in the wrong frame

 of mind, the King James Bible can make you want

 to drink poison in no uncertain terms.”

 from: The Poisonwood Bible

 by: Barbara Kingsolver

Picture this...
Today, a new ward..
strangers everywhere...
Said strangers coming up and introducing themselves...all of them telling us that they are so happy that we moved into the ward.
People telling us that they 'prayed' us into the ward....or that we were answers to prayers.
There were jokes about handing over the keys to the Relief Society closet, to me.... today.
(First off, let me just say that my daughter who's 9 months pregnant would be a far better Relief Society President  than I ever could  be...and so I wish they were picking on her...but they won't...she will be out of commission for quite some time now.)
UGH!!

HELP!!

NO!!!!

I'M OUT OF HERE!!!

And thats just what  I did...I fled. I walked home, put on some jeans and walked to the corner market and bought myself a cold Pepsi.
Yes its true..I fell off the wagon and I broke the Sabbath all in one fatal hour.  (I've been enjoying Pepsi again for a month or so.)  Then I came home and sat in our lovely back yard and tried hard not to cry.  I forced myself to think about other things.
What came to my desperate mind was how great it would be and how badly I'd love to dig a deep hole out there, not to hide/die  in, though its not a bad idea right now...but a deep hole for a lovey, relaxing, therapeutic  koi pond....that's  what I would love.
Is an old lady like myself, past the prime of life,  still able to have some simple dreams and wishes come true?  I would dearly love to have a real Koi pond.
I also dream of one more family trip with ALL the kiddies..to a beach somewhere.  And a hot tub for the Logan winters would be nice too. And how about a bunch of zinnias planted everywhere.
All these lovely thoughts...and then my mind was pulled right back to the here and now...and the responsibilities that are looming just 3 doors down at the church building....where my family was still faithfully sitting in their classrooms learning about enduring to the end.
I just want to have fun.
I want to entertain friends in our new back yard.
Oh, lookie at me...Im in a "me" mood.....again.
Aint this a dandy way to spend a Sabbath?
My Builder...who is the best dad to our children (Happy Fathers Day babe) ...promises to 'protect' me from the new bishop. He's kind, but he lies.
When a call comes...I'll long to throw myself in the wished for hole in the backyard...and then I'll probably accept what comes.

Sunday Rant

...in the last several years my life had begun to

feel shapeless, like underwear with the elastic

gone, the days down around my ankles.

from: Three Dog Life

by: Abigal Thomas

So this is my life... most of the time I make the best of the situation...usually my glass is always half full.
My son is marrying the Perfect girl for him...
I put geraniums by my front door..
 Mrs Bennett and her downy sisters are growing right before our eyes!
Old time farmers here in town are swearing that winter wont arrive here this year until after Christmas.

 BUT...in reality..
my front door is a pathetic entrance; Im glad you cant see the  light fixture..
 I now abhor 1" blinds,
 the color of the building should be band from God's color wheel,
 and we are surrounded by terrible wood chips.)
 I also  think Old Time Farmers tell lies!! This week the temps dropped to the mid 20's!! Liers!!!
 I no longer even recognize my own body..its gone soft and weak. Im sure Old Main Hill would now take me down.
 I miss my boys.
Im a Relief Society President...and should be behaving like an adult.
I miss my former life.
I meet wonderful folks from all over the country..who are enjoying fabulous road trips to places like Jackson Hole, Yellowstone and St George. Our conversations reduce me to tears most times..(I wash the dirty soda cups when this happens. We have VERY clean soda cups.)
Oh how I long for a road trip..or even the possibility of a road trip.)

 And then there was last Sunday's phenomenon.
 I woke up convinced I'd play hooky from church. I didnt have any responsibilities that day. I wouldnt be missed. And yet, I ended up dressed and ready to go. ..and I went. out of habit I suppose. I had tithing in hand to turn over  to the bishop. 10% of my hard earned tip money..a wad of ones mostly. I suppose I had people to see and had people that needed to see me..( I know that may sound strange..but example is a powerful thing.) And now I find myself trying to analyze my behavior..my motives. I'd like to learn...and I'd love to wax profound. (though I dont think it'll happen this time.)

 Im sad.
 You can see that.
My hiking spa is hiring..and its autumn in St George. (a glorious time to be in Zion)
 My hair dryer broke...it literally went up in flames.
The sun shines...but I rarely get to partake..for Im indoors working.
 The dress I wore Sunday is the same dress I made and wore some 15 yrs ago.
 Im tired and would love to sleep in...but I cant, for my brain seems to now be programmed to wake up early.
My body feels old.
And yet I still go to church. FOR THREE HOURS!

 BUT TODAY... Today.... we get to stay in our cozy, comfortable clothes and watch General Conference from the comfort of our own homes and soft couches. Blessed tender mercies! If you are interested..click and watch along with me!!   Happy Sunday to you!!!

Calvin says somewhere that each of us is

an actor on stage and God is the audience.

That metaphor has always interested me, be-

cause it makes us artists of our behavior, and

the reaction of God to us might be thought of 

as aesthetic rather than morally judgmental in

the ordinary sense.  How well do we understand

our role?  With how much assurance do we 

perform it?  I do like Calvin's image, though,

because it suggests how God might  actually

enjoy us.  I believe we think about that far to little.

from: Gilead

by: Marilynne Robinson

My daughter says it'll be good for me.
MyBuilder said I'll give it 110%.
I say, "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!??"

3 weeks ago I was extended a call to serve at church. A call that was fairly easy and very low key...as secretary in the Primary. It was new and something I'd never done before..and I was already settling in.( I felt  I dodged a bullet.)
Then this week the  bishop calls...wants to meet with me again.  Its never a 'good' thing when a bishop calls...bishops stir the pot.  I didnt need stirring...I was content.  (NEVER, NEVER let that thought slip from your lips...its bad  kismet.  Thus the call from the bishop.)
There was small talk in his office.  My Builder is good at small talk, thank heaven. Then he looks at me across his paper strewn desk and says, "We'd like to call you as the Relief Society President."

!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!!!
"You've got to be kidding me!!!"  I actually did say it.
Next I sorely exclaimed,  "I dont know anyone!!" (does that sound familiar...it should, the same thing happened when I was asked to be Young Womens President.)
The bishop replies, " That's ok, it'll come."  (a man of few words.)

What is it with God...
Lately He seems to derive great pleasure in pulling the rug out from under me.
I accept these callings 'cause I desperately need the blessings.  For I do believe if I am willing to serve in whatever capacity Im asked...then Im bound to be blessed in some manner...right?? Just like I dont dare not pay tithing...I dont dare question from whence a call comes...whether it be from a desperate bishop or it be yet another teaching moment brought to me by God...I accept...with fear and trepidation.   If Heavenly Father has a modicrium of faith in me, I'll attempt to rise to the occasion.
Sometimes its blind, stupid faith to accept, such as it was when they asked me to be Young Womens President in St George, and now with this startling calling of being responsible for all the women in this unique ward.

I seemed to know there was a change a brew'in...but once again I was blindsided by this one.
Once again I ask for your prayers.
Once again Im grateful for a good husband who is encouraging and supportive.

And I am grateful for the feeling of peace that has already begun settling down over me as I contemplate whats ahead.  So much to learn, so much to do!!! I think my daughter is right...I so need this right now.
God is in charge. Thank heaven

Happy Sabbath to you.
I suppose this will be one of the last peaceful, relaxing Sundays for me......
The new work begins soon.

Peace!

Sabbath Musings

Im not a celebrity. Im not the child of a celebrity.  I have

never been married to, never been abused by, and never

provided a kidney for transplantation into any celebrity.

Furthermore, I have no desire to be a celebrity.

from: Odd Thomas

by: Dean Koontz

maryjean: secretary extraordinaire! me, Karin

It looks as though I still have new skills to hone.. Whoopee for me!! It seems that Heavenly Father wont let cobwebs form in this aging mind.  I have more stretching, growing and discomfort in store for me. Not only has looking for jobs here in Logan caused some anxiety, it now looks as though my mind will get some sharpening as I go to church each Sunday too.  I have received a new calling (job, responsibility, stewardship) in church.  They (the bishopric) just asked me to serve as the Primary Secretary.  Thats another new challenge for me!
(We have been successful in lying low  for a few months. I think the members here have been wondering if we are for real, or just flighty, transient dodgers!! Well no more!!
Im not sure yet what is involved with this new responsibility. I assume its  things like roll taking, scheduling, keeping track of pertinent dates, ie  -keeping track of 8 yr olds and baptism dates, birthdays cards, going to meetings of course, plus oodles of paper work.
I do know that the secretary I was privileged to served with  when I was Young Women's President was invaluable to me and our organization.  She kept me informed, dealt with the Stake and the information they sent out at regular intervals. She  was also full of creative ideas, and was a spiritual giant!! She kept me on my toes!!!
May I rise to the occasion, I pray.
  What better way to become acquainted and involved in this new ward of ours. Working and serving the younger children, 3-11 yr olds, could and should be quite enjoyable. (May I banish the memory of the 11 yr old boys reducing me to tears my very first time serving  in a Primary capacity, about 28 yrs ago.)  I now have thicker skin, more experience with children, and a much better sense of humor!! How can I now take what kids say and do so personally, which is what I must have done back then?  Raising my own kids, and having been through teenage-hood must have by now broken me down to a state of gooey putty! Plus...now Im a Mimi!! Silly Putty is a good thing and I like me that way!!
Please let  me know what you think it takes to be a good secretary!! Im open to suggestions!
Do I need a steno pad
or the know how to make great coffee?  te he
or maybe
a great big notebook and some computer skills,
a willing heart, and remembering that our church is a record keeping church will suffice.
Wish me luck friends!!

It seems that Mutants have something in their lives

called gravy. They know truth, but it is buried

under thickening and spices of convenience, materialism,

insecurity, and fear. They also have something in their

lives called frosting. It seems to represent how they

spend almost all the seconds of their existence in

doing superficial, artificial, temporary, pleasant-tasting,

nice appearing projects and spend very few actual seconds

of their lives developing their eternal beingness.

from: A Mutant Message Down Under

by: Marlo Morgan

What Girls Camp Taught Me!!

-Plan to have things go not as planned...and thats ok!!
-Have B. Kanenwisher on your team!!!
- The greater the number of sugary snacks the greater the contentment.
- Busy hands and busy bodies make for perfect camping activities
- Grown-ups need to be quiet...for the most part.
- Oreos with a familiar minty taste are to be avoided. gak...toothpaste
-Have B. Kanenwisher on your team!!
- Banana Boats are the perfect camping dessert!! Campfire+tinfoil+banana+ marshmallows + chocolate chips+ a few moments in the fire = perfection!!!
-Rain does not necessarily ruin a camping experience...see above note about B.Kanenwisher.
-Giggling ringing in the pines is a joyous thing.
-I love thunder and lightening storms!!
-Good, true friends dont grow on trees, but they do grow at girls camp!
- A 35below sleeping bag suits me just fine.
-A air mattress and a 3 inch thick piece of foam is gravy!!
-Campfires attract bugs!! who'd a thunk!!??
-Rain on a roof top is soothing...rain on a tent fly is disconcerting.
-Blue skies,  towering white cumulus clouds, meadows with deer and yellow flowers...bliss!!!
-laughter is the best medicine.
-Getting "out of the world" and away from the worlds pressures and into the trees and fresh mountain air for a few days clears ones head, heart and soul. The important things in life become clearer!!
-Girls can shoot guns...darn well I might add.
-we can survive without cell phone coverage.
-differences can be embraced and cherished.
-We all can do hard things. Some of us just not as gracefully as others. *see future post on the "trust fall."
-16 girls and 5 leaders can easily FILL a 20 ft. flatbed trailer with STUFF! (and we didnt even have to haul up our food!!!)
-zip lining will never loose its thrill. 9this is the second longest line in Utah!)
-hiking at 8000 feet feels a little different than it does 'down here.' (I was sucking some air!)
-when in doubt, stay on the trail.
-have B.Kanenwisher on your team!!
-when you trust someone, you can do and accomplish most anything.
-porta potties are a blessing in the mountains.
-dirty fingernails are not the end of the world, they are a badge of honor! It says YOUR CAMPING!!
-The Gospel of Jesus Christ is true and these girls KNOW IT!! And they live it!!!

Right now I'd like all my troubles to

stand in front of me in a straight line,

and one by one I'd give each a black eye.

from: The Goose Girl

by: Shannon Hale

I really dont want to go to girls camp!  And when I say this...im not being trite or cute or whiny. I dont want to go. I have fear and dread in my heart.  Anxiety.  I m not a camper.  I LOVE my girls.  Im just not a camper. I dont want to be cold, or sleep anywhere but on a mattress up off the ground,  with sheets and clock radio near my head. I dont want to go to bed dreading the middle of the night RUN to the out house, 'cause I gotta pee!! I dont want the dirt and the smoke and the bugs.
  To add to discomfort of this camping experience...I now realize that Im not a willing spender of camp funds either. And to make matters even worse... on a larger scale...I have a serious complex about spending church money....period!!!  I hate that I have become such a tight wad. I can no longer enjoy even taking the girls out for an ice cream cone.
 I dont want to do cutsy things, for they cost money. And to spend the money we spend on girls camp things...ugh!!!
But...I do know that the time and expense is well worth it and even justified in the end!!! Its for the girls. Its for the memories!! Its just me that cant actually go to the store and spend the money. I break out in a sweat!!  I get a knot in my stomach.  I just cant do it.  Im always asking---"Is what Im  spending going to be useful, memorable or  meaningful?" The answer seems obvious to  me..no way--not  in the long run!
  I dont want a church job that requires spending money!  How strange is that? I bet you've never heard that complaint before!!!
Im truly not crafty. Crafty brings the witch out in me. Crafty makes me cranky.  I bust my butt  on something thats not even very cute and I know its just going to collect dust on a bookshelf in a young womans bedroom and eventually  be thrown away. Why do I do this to myself!!!??
I want a vacation. And its not going to happen.
A vacation is  not practical.
So... I just dont want to go to girls camp.
ALSO:
I dont ever want to loose  a group of hiking guides and hikers...ever, ever again. (they werent lost!!! That doesnt happen under our watch...but they were out of contact with home base for Hours longer than they should have been!! It was getting dark!! good heavens!!!
Im wondering if the kids should travel this weekend.  Maybe they should stay put?  I hate that!!  I want to see them. I want I want I want.
I want to curl up and have next week pass me by with out a camping experience.
I want to know that Clark is good and what he is up to. I want to be able to watch him-. To see through his eyes.  Instead..there's no wyfi!!
I want Brian not to have to worry about his face and his acne-  'cause I worry when he's concerned about something.
 I want a crystal ball D%^$# it!!
When this many things go wrong in a week...or a day...I WANT A PEPSI!!!


I need Callgon to take me away.

We were restless for ages...After a while

I heard an owl hooting and calmed myself

by thinking of it flying over the dark

fields- and then I remembered it would

be pouncing on mice. I love owls, but I

wish God had made them vegetarian.

from: I Capture the Castle

by: Dodie Smith

Im trying to recall if I've ever LOVED a calling/job in the church before?

Hummmm.....lets review-

*Activities Chairperson- fun, but not loved, poor turnouts and disappointments.

* Nursery Leader- tolerated; it had its sweet moments.

* Relief Society 2nd Counselor- Lovely ladies to work with; learned a LOT; shamefully no LOve.

*Enrichment Leader- a LOT of work, unfulfilling- for I worried about not being the least bit crafty or cutesy. I felt the pressure. The love was missing.

* Laurel Advisor- Mega inadequacy issues. I was physically ill every Sunday I was to teach.

*Primary Teacher- not so much love.

*Sunday School Teacher- 14-16 yr olds. Sizable crush with this one. Great kids. I'd grown up some by the time I received this 'job'.

* Den Mother for Cub Scouts- warm and fuzzy fun: puppy love

It really should be too soon to determine whether I'll even enjoy this new calling...but Im already experiencing feelings of LOVE sneaking into my heart and quickly!! I'll compare it to what "love at first sight" might feel like.

Teenage girls are silly -though not nearly as brain dead as teenage boys??! Teenage girls are often over zealous and sometimes flighty creatures; at least those have been my impressions from past experience. (my first clue that things have changed, should have dawned on me years ago though... for none of my nieces can be described this way.) Girls are different now-a-days. This is obvious!! I am now surround by girls that inspire, who are strong and know who they are and what they can become! I enjoy their company! They make me laugh! They touch my heart. So many of them are strong, confident leaders among their peers. When asked to do something, they step to the plate and hit home runs! They have the skills and the power and the know-how!

I am humbled and inspired by these young women I have been called to serve and now see it as a privileged to be among them; and yes I do LOVE what I have been called to do!!

Sunday Ramblings

I've got nothing to do today but smile.

-Simon & Garfunkel

This new job of mine...at church...has caused me to reflect a great deal on how we can contribute to the Lord's kingdom.

Wherefore be not weary in well doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.
D&C 64:33

I may not be weary...but I sure do admit to be leery as to what it is that the Lord thinks I can do, add to, and learn from this daunting calling.

But in my next breath.. I have to say that in just a short month or so I have indeed learned a great deal. First and foremost, the Lord is in control. Imagine that. Im also learning that if I take one day at a time,

one activity at a time, (activities seem to take 1-2 hrs -piece of cake!)

one scheduled mtg at a time,

I may be able to pull this whole thing off.

baby steps Cindy

Minute To Win It!!!

Oreos turn up in the darndest places!!

Let me just say right off...these girls are AMAZING! They have made my transition into their lives seem easy. They are so accepting and have literally embraced me from the beginning. (I love the hugs!) They are quick with a smile and an encouraging word. I feel NO judgement from them! They are all sharper than the average Jane too!!! The youth of today are so much further along the path than I EVER was at that age.

I do have a list though. There are some random things Im finding hard to accomplish right now. Things that are pretty important. Like temple attendance. Regular temple attendance is hard for me to commit to. (I have to go in the morning; going later in the day-I fall asleep.)

Getting out to visit the girls I havent met yet-the ones that dont come to church-still needs to be done. (Am I shy or chicken or lazy?)

Acknowledging birthdays- (just ask my own kids how hard this is for me.)

Table centerpieces and decorations!!! Ack!!!!! (trivial I know, but it weighs on me)

Teaching (so painful)

SO!!!?? I wonder what I am good for....

Hopefully I believe what I preach...

that its in the 'small things'

Like-

dishing out unconditional love and acceptance

catching their 'vibes'

being led to choose amazing, talented counselors and advisors.

not sweating the small stuff
Can I say again how much I marvel at the perfect symphony of women the Lord has directed me to use in this calling. Remembering that I didnt know a soul or a thing about any woman in the ward...I now have 3 ladies that are such a pleasure to work with, that I should be pinched to be sure its true. I am dumbstruck at the wisdom and foresight the Lord had in each choice He had me make.

I have a lady that LOVEs to do cutesy!!

I have a lady that knows Personal Progress inside and out.

I have one that can holler and get everyones' attention.

I have one that has plenty of past experience with the girls

I have one that runs to the Temple for inspiration (no matter the time of day)

I have two that the girls are already familiar with and respect.

Working together, we may make a nearly perfect team. Even with a weak leader. Weak in that I havent a clue what Im doing.
Its wild and marvelous how things are working out. By small and heart-felt steps we hope to work our way into these girls' hearts, and serve them as best we can.

I just need to get crack'in at my list!!!

For I am not weary!!

Just distracted

FOCUS GIRL!!!!

What I love today: girls who play volleyball; even when the chances are slim that they'll win!!! They just like to be together and have fun!! (and their leaders arent a bad lot either!)

We may not have had the winningest volleyball team, but we sure had girls that know how to have a good time. And....Im sure if our 'season' was longer...we would have definitely won more games!! These girls got better and better each time they played!! Bless their souls for coming out twice a week to play...and we didnt even have to bribe them with orange slices and juice boxes!!!

Maybe the truth is, there is a little bit

of loser in all of us. Being happy isnt

having everything in your life be perfect.

Maybe its about stringing together all the little things.

from: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

by: Ann Brashares

You werent an accident. You werent mass produced.

You arent an assembly-line product. You were

deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and

lovingly positioned on the Earth by the Master Craftsman.

from: The Christmas Candle

by: Max Lucado

Tonight was my first official Young Women's Activity night. The girls wanted to decorate Halloween cookies and 'door-bell ditch' the out-going presidency and other random members of the ward and neighbors with their tasty homemade treats. The turn-out was impressive....I was so relieved. Did I mention already how impressed I am by these amazing girls!!??
This sweet little chickie just had surgery...tonsils removed +!!! And yet she shows!!! Bless her!!

Can you believe what a beautiful batch of girls we enjoy serving with in this ward? I am awed and humbled by these powerful, dedicated spirits.

Divine Nature con't Part 2

But the Hebrew word, the word timshel-

'Thou mayest'-that gives a choice. It might
be the most important word in the world.
That says the way is open. That throws
it right back on a man. For if "Thou mayest'-
it is also true that "Thou mayest not."
from: East of Eden
by: John Steinbeck

And we're back...

Remember that divine virtue of long-suffering that I didnt know enough about?
I've learned a few things.
A common topic of discourse in our church is being admonished to 'endure to the end.'
Enduring to the end is a big deal.

Im going to endure, to be sure, but I plan on being happy about it. Im enjoying the journey, and I pray that I will continue to enjoy the journey, no matter where it takes me.
The best quote I found on the subject:

Enduring to the end implies “patient continuance in well doing” (Romans 2:7), striving to keep the commandments (see 2 Nephi 31:10), and doing the works of righteousness (see D&C 59:23). It requires sacrifice and hard work. To endure to the end, we need to trust our Father in Heaven and make wise choices, including paying our tithes and offerings, honoring our temple covenants, and serving the Lord and one another willingly and faithfully in our Church callings and responsibilities. It means strength of character, selflessness, and humility; it means integrity and honesty to the Lord and our fellowmen. It means making our homes strong places of defense and a refuge against worldly evils; it means loving and honoring our spouses and children. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

(oops, the list of things I gotta do just got longer...ah well...I'll try and endure it well)

The whole talk can be found HERE.
I should be good at this. Long-suffering implies patience. Dont you remember...I OWN patience!! Clearly Im not at the 'end' yet!!

Then there is temperance:
I have learned that being temperate is to use moderation in all things...or to exercise self-control. Being temperate also means to carefully examine our expectations and desires, and to be diligent and patient in seeking our righteous goals.

another great quote on the subject:
"Likewise, a temperate soul—one who is humble and full of love—is also a person of increased spiritual strength. With increased spiritual strength, we are able to develop self-mastery and to live with moderation. We learn to control, or temper, our anger, vanity, and pride. With increased spiritual strength, we can protect ourselves from the dangerous excesses and destructive addictions of today’s world."Elder Kent D. Watson Of the Seventy

Do you see a pattern forming here? The attributes that I knew little about , happen to be the ones that I need to work on the most.

in-ter-rest-ting!!!!

Next, is to be easily entreated.
This is so nebulous to me. Im not sure I 'get it.'
I looked it up.
to entreat: to ask earnestly; beseech; implore; beg. to make an earnest request or petition.

My stream of consciousnesses goes like this: I dont WANT to easily persuaded...in anything!!! My rebelliousness is rearing its ever-present head again. Seriously, we Mormons are often accused of being 'sheep.' I have made a concerted effort to not fall under that category. Someone help me with this one!!! I entreat you!!!

Virtue #8 on my list is to let virtue garnish my thoughts.
My favorite garnish is the dill pickle.
I wonder how virtue goes with hamburgers and fries?
Im sure being virtuous would greatly enhance all flavors and sensations. (Maybe, just maybe it could even magically flush alway all those naughty trans fats while its at it??!!)
But all kidding aside-

Who can find a virtuous women? for her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10

Rubies and virtue are hard to find these days. Imagine being a teenager in this day and age. Imagine trying to stay virtuous in school, at work and at play.
Sure, being virtuous is all about remaining clean and pure in action and deed...but it also has a lot to do with not letting un-virtuous things clutter our minds. For what we put in our minds, remains in our heads..FOREVER!!!

Faith is the next quality in seeking a divine nature.
We all can quote by rote that 'definition' of what faith is: Faith is things hoped for but not seen.
For years now I've been carrying around a favorite thought in my scriptures, tucked away with Alma 32. Its a quote from Elder Boyd K Packer.
"There are two kinds of faith. One of them functions ordinarily in the life of every soul. It is the kind of faith born by experience; it gives us certainty that a new day will dawn, that spring will come, that growth will take place. It is the kind of faith that relates us with confidence to that which is scheduled to happen... There is another kind of faith, rare indeed. This is the kind of faith that causes things to happen. It is the kind of faith that is worthy and prepared and unyielding, and it calls forth things that otherwise would not be. It is the kind of faith that sometimes moves things. Few men posses it. It comes by gradual growth. It is a marvelous, even a transcendent, power, a power as real and as invisible as electricity. Directed and channeled, it has great effect. But faith must be faith. One man tried 'experimenting' with faith. He had spoken of his certainty that an event would transpire, and his desires were not brought to pass; the event he so much yearned for did not happen. Afterwards, his bitter comment was, "well, you see, it didnt happen. I didnt think it would." In a world filled with skepticismm and doubt, the expression, 'seeing is believing' promotes the attitude, 'you show me, and I will believe.' We want all the proof and all the evidence first. It seems hard to take things on faith. When will we learn that in spiritual things it works the other way about- that believing is seeing? Spiritual belief preedes spiritual knowledge. When we believe in things that are not seen but are nevertheless true, then we have faith."

AMEN!!!

Next comes hope.
Hope is the confident expectation of and longing for the promised blessings of righteousness.
What things do you hope for?

A peek at my list would revel an interesting conglomerate of items:

*more travel

*extended health

* lots of grandkids.

*a Lexus

* unconditional love in the world

*missionary service

*feet that carry me to my grave

*success returning to my Builder

*happy children

*world peace!!

Most of these are righteous desires...right???

Im trying to be good!!!

Now pardon me please for using an example here from the 'world.' But the other day I was watching an episode of Glee. I was extremely touched by the theme of that evening's show.

One of the members of the Glee club- Kurt's- father suffered a catastrophic heart attack, and was near death. Poor Kurt was beside himself with grief. And he confessed to his peers that he didnt believe in God. He had no hope. His devastation was complete as he contemplated the possibility of his father dying. And though this is not really the time or place for me to step up on my soap box about 'gay rights'...lets just say that Kurt had been treated cruelly for all of his life. He had no hope in a God whos churches seemed to ostracize people such as himself. In the end, maybe a glimmer of hope glowed in Kurt as his friends who had faith, rallied around him and prayed for him and did all they could to bouy him up.

I'll end this by saying- may we all live in a manner that would cultivate hope in all that we meet, know and love!!!

Hope for something better...here and in the hereafter!!!

And the last quality of divine nature that Im going to touch on is charity.

Trying to explain charity is like trying to eat an elephant with a shrimp fork.

Charity is the pure love of Christ. It has everything to do with "going about doing good."

"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another"

Amen and Amen!!!

The only difference between you
and God is that you have
forgotten you are divine.
from: The Lost Symbol
by: Dan Brown

Most Mormon women know exactly what one means when they get to talking about the Young Women's Personal Progress Program. From the moment a young girl turns 12 she is introduced to the inspired program as she is also introduced to the Young Womens organization.

And now apparently it is my turn, as an old lady, to become acquainted and to embrace this program- along with the amazing girls I 've been called to serve in our ward/congregation. And I've decided that I might as well take you along with me on the journey of my 'enlightenment.'

First off, there are 8 values:
Faith, Divine Nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity and virtue.
This month the value we will be highlighting is- Divine Nature.
The scripture reference used to describe the value is found in 2 Peter1:4-7

Be partakers of the divine nature...Giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.

To earn a beautiful ribbon to add to a sought after scripture bookmark.. I will have to pass off 3 required value experiences plus some additional value projects. Plus I have to journal.
So guess what!!??
You may find that I can fill some of my 'requirements' via blogging. (blogging is the perfect solution to so many things)
You can chose to follow my progress and my learning curve...
Or NOT!!!
But I am determined to work as hard and to learn as much as these amazing young women- as they too, progress in this amazing program.

So HEre We Go!!!

What is Divine Nature?
What does a daughter of God look like?
What can I do to improve or develop the qualities of divine nature?

I have learned that divine nature includes these attributes:
being humble, submissive, gentle, being easily entreated. Patience, long-suffering and being temperate in all things. It means keeping the commandments and being grateful, having faith, hope and charity. And having virtue garnish our thoughts.

Im the first to admit that at first glance, at any glance, at multiple glances, when forever glancing at this list, one becomes a tad overwhelmed!!!
But with determination and lots of prayer and faith, and not expecting perfection- we can/ I can, accomplish a great many good things with this list.
And because of the way in which I was raised-by goodly parents and as I was nurtured and 'raised' by my patient, loving Builder...I feel I have been blessed with a good start on this list of worthy attributes.
I'd like to share my thoughts on a few of the listed qualities to strive for as a daughter of God.

Being humble:
Im not sure how my mom and dad did it...but I feel I have always been a fairly humble person. When younger, humbleness and lack of good self-esteem were all jumbled up in the feelings I had about myself. Growing up I found I wasnt proud of most everything I did. Now that Im older and wiser, ha ha, I do realize that having low self-esteem and being humble are two completely different attitudes. I still suffer from a minimum amount of self-esteem issues (its a tough world we live in) But I no longer have the truckload of baggage that I carried with me for the first half of my life. (though being called as a Young Womens president raised once again those old feelings of inadequacy.) But the clothes I wear, the car I drive (OUCH...maybe a little pain there) the fine lines and deep crevices on my face dont cause the longings and despair that might once have taken me down!! To me being humble is about acknowledging where ALL my blessing, gifts, talents, all that I have, come from!!! Being humble means being teachable!!!
Man oh Man am I humble now!!!

Being submissive:
Im sure its the same with you as it is with me... all sorts of negative connotations come to mind with you think of being called to submissiveness. These images rack my mind with 'girl power' yearning-when I go there!!!
Being submissive to the will of the Lord is easy for me...especially in comparison to the call for me to be of being submissiveness to anyone else!!! Just ask my Builder!!!
Who me!!!??
Submissive!!!!
NEXT!!!!

Gentleness:
Who comes to your mind when you think of gentleness? For me its once again my mother and my mother-in-law. Never have I heard them raise their voices or even think about doing such a thing. Never have I witnessed tempers flare. My Builder falls again into this category as well. He's gentle and kind and all children, adults and all of God's critters love to be around him.
Just know that I am much gentler than I was!!

What does it mean to be easily entreated?
I have some homework to do.
I'll get back to you on this one.

Patience:
Oh my.
My oh my.
I am patient.
Now I am patient.
Not when I first married my man. I was anything but.
But now I am definitely patient.
Dont get me started. Just believe me.
PATIENCE IS MINE!!!!
(not too humble about this one am I?)

Long suffering:
Is this any different than patience?
(more homework)

Keeping the commandments:
The world would have us believe that the 10 commandments are out-dated and obsolete or pass'e. Not so!!! The commandments are what keeps this world glued together . I believe that if a great many of us werent striving to keep the commandments, or doing our best to follow them, then I can almost envision this troubled world spinning off its axis. Thank heaven for those that try to keep the inspired commandments in the forefront of their minds. Let us never give up on or ignore the commandments!!!

And now I'll finish todays thoughts with the virtue of gratitude. Or now what's commonly called the 'attitude of gratitude."
I OWN this one as well. Being grateful for all that I enjoy comes easily to me. My mom must have modeled this to me as I was growing up. Im grateful for health and children and grocery stores and red rocks and turtles. Im grateful for the Gospel and my family and friends and for living in this country and for the service men that protect it. My list is LONG of the things I am grateful for!!! And I carry that list around in my heart- always!!!


I have a few more attributes to share with you on another day. Thanks for your patience and attention. tehetehe

image from flickr.com

SABBATH MUSINGS

I prayed the Lord would sort my prayers out and
answer as needed. Above all that he would hurry.
from: Peace Like a River
by: Leif Enger

One of the unique things about being a Mormon is that we believe in revelation. The heavens are not sealed. God is an unchanging God, so why would He stop revealing things to us in order to help us along our way?
We believe in personal revelation as well.

....for thou hast inquired of me, and behold,
as often as thou hast inquired thou hast
received instruction of my Spirit. If it had
not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the
place where thou art at this time.
Behold, thou knowest that thou hast inquired
of me and I did enlighten thy mind; and now
I tell thee these things that thou mayest
know that thou hast been enlightened by the
Spirit of truth;
Yea, I tell thee, that thou mayest know that
there is none else save God that knowest
thy heart.
Doctrine and Covenants 6:14-16

I personally believe I have received direct revelation for me and the things I care about. It has been there for me in the past. And I expected it throughout the grueling process of the the last few weeks. Its a taxing process to go through though. And I've had a difficult week or so, as I have grappled with the new calling I have received. One reason its been so difficult is that I havent been able to share or complain or pick anyones brain. Its been a private challenge. (as it should be)
But I journaled...to keep it fresh in my mind. Thus you get a peek into my mind.
My dilemma and challenge was:
Choosing a presidency and advisers to serve along with me. And personal revelation had to be involved. For I wanted to serve along with those that we felt the Lord would have me serve with.
but....
as I write this, it occurs to me that whomever serves with willingness can be qualified for the work.

Now behold, a marvelous work is about to
come forth among the children of men.
Therefore, O ye that embark in the service
of God, see that ye serve him with all
your heart, might, mind and strength, that
ye may stand blameless before God at the
last day. Therefore, if ye have desires to
serve God ye are called to the work; For
behold the field is white already to harvest;
and lo, he that thrusteth in his sickly with
his might, the same layeth up in store that
he perisheth not, but bringeth salvation to
his soul; And faith, hope, charity and love,
with an eye single to the glory of God,
qualify him for the work. Remember, faith,
virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience,
brotherly kindness, godliness, charity,
humility, diligence. Ask, and ye shall
receive, knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
Doctrine and Covenants 4:5

So....
what does this all mean to little ol me?
I was given some names as suggestions of those who might fulfill these responsibilities. It was then my 'job' to make the correct decisions as to which lady should serve where. Where could I go wrong? Is there more to it than just willingness? There probably is. There assuredly is.
For days I seemed to just juggle those names around on paper, seeing what 'felt' right. I'd pray before and after this exercise. Then I'd juggle some more. What I really desperately wanted was to meet these ladies; to have some interaction with them....
but I couldnt see a way to make that happen before the deadline that the bishop graciously issued for my decision to be made.
The one Sunday I had.... turned out to not yield much fruitful reconnaissance work!!!!
It looked like it was going to be all about juggling and praying and juggling and praying until all the 'right' ladies fell into place.
Does an outsider looking in and find this whole process I went through to be completely foreign? Im sure you must. My believing that I am entitled to divine revelation/inspiration for my new calling must sound borderline arrogant. And all I can say to you is that its true and that it did come. Revelation is available for anyone who seeks after it. But again...its not an easy process....I wavered and faltered all along the way. I questioned my 'light and knowledge' all the time. But in the end.... as I worked hard to avoid questioning my abilities or worthiness to accomplish such tasks...there was a rich reward. If I remembered that immersing myself in scripture would help...for reading scripture is reading revelation, therefore I am apt to hear revelation more readily. And if I kept trying my best to keep the commandments, believing that this too would help the lines of communication open up to me as well. And if I just prayed and listened and prayed some more and listened quietly....


Here's how it 'came down' for me this time....


Its not at all dramatic.


It wouldnt be.
It turned out it was all about juggling and praying and juggling and praying, and the names did fall into place, to where there was no longer stress and anxiety and worry. I looked at the list....it felt just about perfect...I went to the Lord in prayer with my list, and I felt calm, peaceful and even excited. The tasked was accomplished. There was no stupor of thought, just calm.
Is that revelation.... ????? inspiration....?????
I think so.
I knocked and it was given to me.
whew!!!
I am grateful for the process.
I am grateful that I know the heavens are open and that God cares about little ol me and the girls I have been called to serve.

Like a Lamb to the Slaughter!!!

...think of Peter walking across the water to
meet Jesus. As long as he didnt remember
that we human beings have forgotten how
to walk on water, he was able to do it.
from: Walk on Water
by: Madeleine L'Engle (1985)

I guess its time for the big reveal!
Here's the story of how my world was rocked so very recently.

How is it that a naive, unsuspecting individual can amble into the new bishops office, along with ones good husband, for a supposed 10 minute meeting, and come away from said meeting a completely changed, rocked, stunned individual???!!!

(please brace yourself for lots and lots of exclamation points in this post)

I was completely confident that the meeting we were entering into was going to be about My Builder. I now wonder how it is that I had not an inkling, not a twinge of foreboding going into the bishops lair of alterations.
How dare I have been so calm!!!! So very, very naive!!!
I havent been calm now for several weeks!!!
I now brace myself for years of stomach aches and anxiety brought on by nerves and feelings of inadequacy.
Many may wonder what can bring on such symptoms to a normally sedate, calm, laid-back kinda gal???
You may be wondering what has taken the wind from my sails, knocked me for a loop, stunned me into near speechlessness, instilled terror and self-doubt??

It turns out that it was I that was extended a call.
Not My Builder, as I fully expected.

Its a call that I have always been loath to contemplate. A call that I honestly believed I had escaped after all these years of marriage, parenthood, and willingness to serve.
Low and behold...I have been slapped with the call without warning. It comes without any knowledge of the people I'll be serving, and without the knowledge of those that might be willing to serve along side of me. This church congregation is totally new to me...dare I say I dont know a soul!!!!!
What is going on!!!!????
What is God thinking!!!!????
Can I seriously pull this off under these circumstances??!!!
Could I pull it off under the best of circumstances???!!!
Why is it that young girls between the ages of 12-17 scare the heebee-geebees out of me!!!??? (unless Im related to them that is)
I dont know this program!!!
I dont even know the theme!!!
I dont camp!!!
And the longer the bishop talked and tried to familiarize me with the girls of the ward, the weaker and weaker I became in the knees. We have a ward for of exceptional girls it seems.
May God please help me....because that will be the only way I'll get through this!!!

We are now well past the litany of clues....
Those that know the lingo of our church have already guessed what has landed on my plate.
I've been called as the Young Womens President of the Bloomington 7th Ward. gulp

If there is a bright side to this catastrophe... (for it pays to look for a bright side)
There are a few things I might bring to the table.
#1 I have a willing spirit...(which often gets me into trouble)
#2 I have faith that said willingness will be rewarded with some sort of competence and support.
#3 I have faith in the assurance that Heavenly Father really does want me to give this calling my best shot.
#4 I have some faith that maybe, just maybe I do have something of offer these girls, and that together we'll learn what it is.
#5 I have a darling supportive husband.
#6 I cant really call it excitement; but maybe there's a twinge of anticipation which new things, places, and challenges bring me.
#7 having never really been in the program before...I cant compare myself or hold myself up to how others have done this calling. Im a clean slate, an open book, ready and willing to learn and work.

Please wish me luck and pray mightily for me!!!


Why couldnt I have been on vacation!!!!???

(image from thatgirl)

DANC'IN IN THE STREET!!!

In the spirit of Halloween....
And because I have a reputation to uphold as chairperson of the Activities Committee...
And because my committee and myself are bound and determined to get our ward (congregation) to mingle and enjoying one anothers company...
GUESS WHAT WE'RE DOING THIS MONTH?!?!?

We are planning a family Halloween party!!!
We're going to take over a neighborhood cul-d-sac.
There's going to be dancing!!!
And costumes!!
And old black and white scary movies. (any suggestions??)
Dutch oven stew will be brewing.
There will be bobb'in for apples and a Halloween parade.
Even a crafty 'thing' for the littlest spooks.

BUT....
the highlight for me will be getting all the old fuddy duddy moms and dads out on the dance floor/asphalt to shake their booties. We'll be dancin the THRILLER just like Micheal Jackson-the King of Pop!!!
Practices have already begun!! We're determined to learn the steps and have some fun.
Wednesday was our first session, and we were 'thrilled' to have 6-7 good sports show up and give it a try!!!

What I know:
Im going to shelve my natural reserve and put on a costume and DANCE!!!
And its going to be FUN!!!!