Stephenson Family Ties The Barn Burnt Down
And Now I See The Moon


Bones are patient.  Bones never tire nor do they run away.
When you come upon a man who has been dead many years,
his bones will still be lying there, in place, content, patiently
waiting, but his flesh will have gotten up and left him. Water
is like flesh.  Water will not stand still.  It is always off to some-
where else; restless. talkative, and curious.  Even water is a 
covered jar will disappear in time.  Flesh is water. Stones are 
like bones. Satisfied. Patient. Dependable.  Tell me, then, Alobar,
in order to achieve immortality, should you emulate water or stone?
Should you trust your flesh or your bones?
from: Jitterbug Perfume
by: Tom Robbins


Mimi's tear ducts behave improperly late at night when the house is quiet and dark and when Im in  a reclining position.  Im not sure what it is about this combination of factors that lead to such leaking.  It might have to do with there being no furniture left in our house anymore, and the sad echos this creates. But more likely it has to do with my thoughts getting carried away and falling into an abyss while  thinking of all the "lasts" that will happen this week.  Im a mess.  And I have no real right to be.  For I know that there are dear people that will read this post and roll their eyes or stomp their feet in righteous protest to my selfish pity party.  I know I have no right to whine!! None whatsoever!!
SO maybe last nights tears had more to do with feeling so very bad about not just my paltry struggle.... its highly probable that the tears were about quite a few people that I know and love that are struggling with REAL pain and hardships.
Old Mimi is just plain sad today...sad for all the pain, sorrow and struggles in the world.  Sad that there arent real answers and cures.  Sad that change is hard this time.  Sad knowing that Im not the only one with a soggy pillow at night.
A good friend lost her husband/lover to the greedy dust this weekend.
A few of my friends have joined the burgeoning  ranks of financial insecurity.
Another has had the wind knocked clear out of her sails...and she is a beautiful vessel.
Another's mate has a mysterious, they have fallen out of love.
Another has a grown child in prison who cant deal with her addiction.
And one friend is so sick and patiently waits for a much needed surgery while the insurance company plays patty-cake.
and on and on and on..
So yes, Im sad that I have the audacity to be sad at all. And Im sad that I am powerless to help others in their despair!!

You know...this is really too heavy  for MIMI MONDAY...
My ramblings  began with thinking about my tear duct problem...and imagining my hike today with a dear friend who wants to see Moke marbles, thinking it would be my "last."  ha!!
The flood gates really opened when I realized the farce of this thinking. I looked deeper...I looked around me..and know that my woes are nothing compared to others and their REAL trials!! My trial is a mere molecule of H2O in the reservoir of sorrows of dear friends around me.
So I resolve that for at least the next 24 hours, and hopefully much longer, I will stop with the horizontal leaking problem and make the most of what I have been given in the here and now. I have LOTS of questions for God...but thats a whole other post...for another day.

Perceived "lasts" that arent really lasts:
Zoey...for when we visit we will see her, hike with her and get a hug
Hiking on "my" red rock...I will hike whenever I come to visit..I will hike until I too am taken by the insatiable dust.
Friends-thank heaven for Facebook, phones and road trips!!
Grandbabies-ditto..and I will now learn to  Skype!!
Folks - lots of return visits already scheduled on the calender for the spring and summer!

Real "lasts"-
The rest of March 2012  in St George....
My stewardship over "my" fine Young Women and girls camp
Watching impressive swans and Canada geese fly over head from one golf course pond to the other.
and probably some others that Im so completely in denial about that I cant think of them right now....

Peace out my Little Ones...Mimi is still always learning and growing...always.


1 comment:

Pam Hill said...

Good thoughts. Thanks for sharing.