Stephenson Family Ties The Barn Burnt Down
And Now I See The Moon

I am reminded of an image...that living with a terminal 
disease is like walking on a tightrope over an insanely scary 
abyss. But that living without disease is also like walking on 
a tightrope over an insanely scary abyss, only with some fog 
or cloud cover obscuring the depths a bit more -- sometimes 
the wind blowing it off a little, sometimes a nice dense cover.” 
From: The Bright Hour
By: Nina Riggs


So I think we may have experienced a miracle.
Some may role their eyes at my use of the word miracle....but I really dont know how else to explain what has happened for Bob.
Laying all this out in numbers may be the most helpful in explaining.
Oct 1st- Bobs markers, the bad markers, stood at 4,888. Gulp. This raised more than a few eyebrows at Huntsman.
Nov 15th- Bobs markers stand at 188. That's not a typo. 188. I'll let that sit there a moment.
And sure, I KNOW the the people at Huntsman are carefully administering their  very best poison  for putting Multiple Myeloma "back to sleep" as they say. We are both confident and sure  and grateful in this.
But...to have his numbers plummet so low, so quickly...that is where an admission to a miracle may indeed come into play.
So very many people have been praying for Bob.
So many times have people put Bobs name on the temple prayer roles. 
And what about his personal prayers?
And yes...my worldly brain is a nasty thing. I cant begin to reason why these efforts, at this time, are met with a miracle-like answer, while others dont receive one. That is the grand mystery of God and our relationship with Him.  But today, this week, and for now on, this will feel like nothing less than a miracle. Amen
Oh how I wish I'd snapped a picture of our darling, incredibly competent PA, Grace, giving Bob a very enthusiastic high five!!
And once again, as I looked around the infusion center at all the full chairs of very ill people, and a staff of very busy nurses and the like, who  stop at nothing to make the visit there as pleasant as it possibly can be under such circumstance....I just cant help but feel a sense of holiness and unconditional love all around us. Thats a strange thing to say about a bustling hospital...but there it is...a truth I have discovered. You dont want to be in such a situation. But if you find yourself there, then you are blessed to hang with the likes of these sick ones and their caretakers. They have been through hell and back..and are refined and beautiful for it.

2 comments:

Lisa said...

I believe in miracles, Cindy. Thanks to the Father for giving one to Bob. I love you both. Thanks for sharing and nudging my memories & everlasting gratitude. ❤️

Jared + Carly Reid said...

That IS a miracle! Wow wow wow. I've thought about you a lot this past year Aunt Cindy and really admire your strength. You are the perfect partner to fight this with Uncle Bob! You guys can do this!! This is an amazing miracle!