I havent scaled the cliffs of knowledge, only meandered
in the foothills. If I have reached any heights at all in
learning, it is as a sparrow-hawk who encountered a
favorable breeze that bore it briskly aloft.
by: Geraldine Brooks
Do you believe in Karma
or The Power of Attraction...which is..the belief that "like attracts like" and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results.
I've been trying to find my way in the world with my new life...life after St George.
I've been pondering and reading and on some days giving a valiant effort in trying to change my course and attitude.
This will soon be a post about my favorite things...which are those blessed family occasions and vacations...but Im going to come to it around the back door this time...so you can understand a little better whats going on in my head. If thats even possible.
My Tumblr is full of quotes about our power to choose happiness. Etc etc. Im desperately trying to put what I believe to be true and want to be true into practice.
I have returned to Logan. A leap of faith. A leap full of confidence and hope that it's the right thing to do. I missed My Builder. Healthy relationships are difficult at a distance. And Im trying not to think about winter. Not yet.
Instead we were all thinking about the huge Pet Convention in Las Vegas...getting ready for it...preparing in every way we thought we could...and then some. David and My Builder had it all under control. There was no last minute running around wishing they'd done more. They were ready!! Until we decided to redesign the booth. The redesign was a GOOD thing!! And we were thrilled with the results. But it was while we were building said display that something happen to me that made me question my karma or the "law of attraction".
It was a 'simple' accident. A large wooden pallet fell on my big toe. No shoes protected my piggy. I cant begin to explain the pain I felt. Except to admit to you that I cried like I might be dying, for over and hour. I now understand the term...withering in pain...for that is what I did for what felt like eternity...until the pain killers kicked in. Babies came into the world for me easier than dealing with that pain. Immediately I'm asking the universe why this happened to me? Why did I 'attract' such a mishap? What was the universe trying to tell me?
And wait!! It gets worse!!!
My Builder and David headed to Vegas a few hours before we did..so they could set up shop. Anna and I headed down later. We had to stop in Moapia cause the kids needed a break. And low and behold..the car wouldnt let us put it into park or reverse. Uh oh. We were in trouble. Why oh Universe?! Are you telling me something? We made our way to Vegas on a wing and a prayer...pulled into the resort parking lot...knowing we couldnt park or reverse..so Anna jumped out to check us in while I would drive around the parking lot with the kiddos. While she was rummaging in the backseat for the paperwork..I must has lifted my foot from the brake a tad..and rolled on to her foot!!! OMG!!! I couldnt back off her foot!! So I had to continue to roll the rest of the way over that tender little foot!! She got into the car...crying like I had been crying just 2 days before..with the added effect of actual tread marks on the top of her foot!!! I had done this to her!! I knew with recent clarity just how badly it HURT!!! I forced 4 Advil down her throat and waited for our men to come rescue her from her masochistic mother!! Ok Universe...this IS NOT FUNNY!!!
I went to my room and wept bitter tears at what I had done. All the while wondering why I was 'attracting' such mishaps. Were my negative thoughts about life really expressing themselves by negative events? I truly had been working hard to be positive on all fronts. And yet my daughter now had black tire tracks on her foot...and possibly broken bones to boot!!
Bri tried to calm me...Anna assured me after an hour or so that it really wasnt so bad. I bought Anna and I big, juicy, expensive, pool side burgers to help ME feel better. And it helped. And miracles of miracles...the next day Anna was happy to report that she couldnt feel any pain in her foot. (maybe she was a great liar...or there was an actual miracle there..for she never limped. I on the other hand am still limping a week later. wah wah)
From that new morning on, after realizing that Anna wasnt seriously hurt...my favorite things started happening again.
Favorite memories of this simple family vacation...
Sand between our toes!
Sand and water mixed together makes for a gleeful Benjamin!! He jumps for joy spontaneously!!
Our taxi driver had a story...one that has changed how I think about things. 10 min ride...a little life changing. Who'd a thunk!!?? (I may try to write about it sometime.)
Wish I'd had a camera for the sight of Anna and her boys wedged in each others laps in a bright orange tube taking on the lazy river together. Priceless!!
These are definitely my favorite things!!