Stephenson Family Ties The Barn Burnt Down
And Now I See The Moon

Sabbath Reflections and Work

My advice is to drink plenty of tea. It wont reduce
your urges, but in my experience its hard to contemplate
 doing anything really beastly while drinking tea.
from: The Wedding Officer
by: Anthony Capella

Its occurred to me that I  need to now work harder at having gratitude in  my heart.
I've always had cause to be grateful and, I've also come to understand that compared to many, gratitude comes easily for me.
But these last few months have been a rather difficult  trial and much different in circumstance for me.
Before Logan, everyday was a gift, and everyday was spent out doors gathering coral dust between my toes, in Gods' great land of Southern Utah.  Everyday I was out reveling in the beauty  that millions of folks have to pay big bucks to come and see.  Every day I was in places where people vacationed. And every day I was there sharing what I knew and loved about the area  and was experiencing the awe and wonder that is always found in the Southern Utah deserts!
Everyday I would climb a peak and utter a prayer of gratitude for the magnificent surroundings that God created for our enjoyment. It was also a prayer of thanks for my job and my healthy body that got me to the top.

Now everything is very different.  Different in so many ways.
Now my gratitude dosent come as spontaneously.  Now I need to work at finding moments of gratitude in my heart.  In fact..I see now that I have gone days...too many days in fact, without being grateful for much of anything.  Pitiful.
But dont get me wrong. I know I am blessed.  I have many, many dear blessings.
Im just saying that I cant remember the last time I got all warm and fuzzy and turned my face heaven ward and gave thanks for much of anything.

I know Im blessed to have a job.
I have a dear woman as my boss.
I enjoy the company of the head cook.
People that come in are generally kind and often generous in their tips.

Im just saying...there have been no moments that have taken my breath away...something which I had grown accustomed to in St George. I have yet to be reduced to tears of gratitude by the beauty of it all...instead Im overwhelmed by the spills that need wiping up and the dishes that need washing or all the sticky shakes that need mixing.

And yet I still find that I do come home fulfilled....because I know I've gone the extra mile, I've given 110%. I've been able to leave the place better than when I arrived.  I have an apron pocket  bulging with ones and a few fives from the good tippers.  I've smiled at those that wont smile back, no matter how I try.
And even though I sometimes feel that I cant learn all that needs to be least as fast as they'd like me to learn...I do believe Im already an asset to the place and that  my boss is happy she hired me.

In some ways I think it may be much harder work than hiking ever was.  There is not a moment in my day now where I sit down and take a load off.  8 hours on my feet is tough...maybe its cause Im not wearing my Keens??!!  I feel much more tired at the end of the day than I ever did, even after a 15 mile hike!  This is due in part Im sure to the stress of learning something new and the fast, fast pace that is expected in serving people hot and ready food.  I expect that at some point the stress will be reduced as I learn and I will feel better about my ability to 'keep up.'

Waking up in the morning to go hike was a whole different feeling than I now experience as I pedal my way to work now.  I have a strict routine to follow before the 'open' sign is turned on in the  morning. There is order and expectations to fulfill that didnt come with greeting guests and getting ready for a good hike.

So yes...this is my Sunday confession. I miss my daily quota of gratitude moments and I miss hiking with amazing people and friends.  And here's to working a little harder to find those moments here, at home and at the diner.  Moments where I can spontaneously thank God for my many blessings and for this amazing world He and His Son created for us!


Dixie Mom said...

We miss you too, my dear.

Cindy said...

Cheryl...some day I expect I'll stop whining! :(