Stephenson Family Ties The Barn Burnt Down
And Now I See The Moon
Its is an easy mistake to think that non-talkers are non-feelers.
from: Angle of Repose
by: Wallace Stegner


MY YOUNG WOMEN REFLECTIONS:

Im told that Im too spontaneous....
which I believe is a nice way of saying that I dont plan ahead enough...
which seems to cause a couple of my highly organized counselors to cringe and even stress...


Im told that the girls love me...
Its been a whole year,and some change...and I dont think they even really know me...
I need to remedy this..
somehow....


Im not often found standing up in front...
I'm repelled by limelight...
I hide on back rows...
This requires the girls to take over and run the show...and they are amazing!!!


Whenever I do muster up the courage to stand and expound as a 'wise' leader...
I babble and fumble like an idiot, and immediately regret that I even tried...
I lack the gene for public speaking...
The gap between what's in my heart and and what spews from my mouth is frightening indeed.
Once...I stood and tried to say something motivational or inspirational...and you know what I said?.....
something ridicules about the presidential race and how people of the world still havent a clue about Mormons being Christians...and that we need to be better educators of our friends and neighbors...
how random is that!!!?
Left field material!!
I was horrified when I sat down...
some kind of stupid  crept out and went off about nothing!!
It'll be MONTHS before I get up again and attempt to wax philosophical..or wise...humph!!!
Im better seen and not heard.


I do love these girls!
but they probably dont realize just how much...
and once again...that would be my grown-up fault...
And I need to come up with a grown up remedy...


I probably dont take things seriously enough...
I can picture people thinking that of me....
I am guilty.
My motto- "dont sweat the small stuff...AND ITS ALL SMALL STUFF!!!"


I need to get thinking-


In a year from now, what will I regret?
*not holding fewer meetings...
*not that I dont do cutesy...
*that I didnt go looking for lost lambs....
because I was a lost lamb at that age.
*not spending more one on one time with each girl...
maybe then I would find it easier to tell them how I feel and what I know.


I know these are serious times to be a sweet young thing in jr high and high school. Its hard to be a young woman who stands for all the good and moral virtues in life. Its a wicked world we live in. But I find these girls to be the bright spot in life! They are strong and wise, confident and friendly; they are smart and kind and very talented!!!
As I bumble along..they are patient, and tolerant and forgiving. And I love them all  for being this way.
What I do know is that God is patient and long suffering and kind...
and I'll just keep on trying....

2 comments:

Pam Hill said...

Love you Cindy. You are the best. Just keep being who you are and that is good enough.

bob the builder said...

Possessing wisdom is not what you say, but how you live and what you do...you are full of wisdom and people know it and love you for it.
Love ya