a truth we cannot yet bear to accept. It takes our
hands and leads us to places of comfort. Denial flourishes
in the familiar. It seduces us with our own desires
and cleverly constructs walls around us to keep us safe.
from: Refuge
by: Terry Tempst Williams
The pattern of my life is changing..again...It always does. New life, new textures, new loves, are always being added to our patchwork life all the time. Making room isnt hard, its the changing of the pattern that pinches sometimes.
Here we have a post that may hurt the sensitivities of my dear daughter... a daughter who is so kind and dear and mindful of my tender feelings...
But...I write on, for this is my blog...about me...and my mortal journey.
All my colorful, random chickees are near and dear to me; each one of them bringing a bright and cheery light in my life!!
Its beyond my power of description to express the joy they each bring me.
And my wise and good boys have resigned themselves gracefully to the fact that Anna is the 'princess' of our world....or more succinctly, my world.
Its that mother daughter thing....
Anna is like the warm, pleasant color that my eye is naturally drawn to in the fabric of my life. She's the zest, the contrasting hue that brings out all the best in the rest of us. She's not the dominate color of our 'quilt”....but she is the color the eye goes to first... she's a component that brings such joy into my life...more so than the microwave, or even living here in So. Utah or even hiking 20 miles or so each week...all things important to my life.
Anna has been one of my very best friends. But now...she has found a replacement...a new best friend...darn it!!
yep
Thats just what it is.
And today Im melancholy about it.
Im a little jealous.
Im a little sad.
Im missing her.
Phone calls are briefer (is that even a word?)
Phone calls are fewer and farther between.
Can you believe it!!!???...Im missing her AGAIN... almost as much as when she was in Houston under strict ecclesiastical supervision!!
Being happy and sad because of your kids and your life is common..and yes I know...its that 'ol “circle of life” thing again!!
Its that empty nest beginning to echo again.
Justus will be gone in less than a month.
Brian will follow soon after that.
Anna has been redirected.
Clark is just out of reach-knowing full well that college will sweep him away soon after his return from Chile.
Rob and Joe are happily diverted by beautiful wives and kids and life.
Of course I wouldnt want it any other way. I really, truly wouldnt!!
I just better get used to it....the jumbling of the status quo …
I just have to get used to the patching in, and moving about of all the marvelous textures and weaves and warps that comes with children and change.
I do so love how a family can grow and expand and become richer for it...
My Builder and I are so very blessed..
Its all good.
I suppose.
Hummm...I wonder what my beautiful grandkids are doing today??!!
3 comments:
Ah, sweet post!
You know you're always welcome to come by anytime and chill with us when you want to! Most of the time we are still in our jammies way past noon...but we would love it! :)
This is so wise and true. I feel the same way. I used to feel a bit guilty for not visiting my mom-in-law more, but she was aware that I wanted to spend time with my own mom and would be dragging her son along. Now, I know what she was feeling...and it does hurt sometimes! And then there's my Chels (MY bright spot in the tapestry of our family) far away and busy being mom/wife/artist extraordinaire... Yes, it is good, but dang it, it's still hard. Love you, friend, for putting it so well.
Tender and so well said. Thanks for putting it down on "paper" with a flair. I'm savoring the moment as our chicks are all together again in the nest, but I know that it is for a brief moment of time. Life just continues to teach us. Love your new blog "look" and the fun things you bring together!
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