Stephenson Family Ties

SO HERE'S THE THING...
I JUST WANNA SAY...
HUMMMMM....
I NEED TO LAY IT ON THE LINE...
IM GOING TO EXPOSE MY SOFT UNDERBELLY...
THIS 'THING' IS GOING TO HAVE TO BECOME A MATTER OF PRAYER
I WILL BE SCOFFED AT
THERE WILL BE ROLLING OF THE EYES
MY FAMILY DOESN'T GET ME ON THIS (with maybe the exception of dad and bro)
ITS GOTTA BE DONE
ITS TIME I COME CLEAN
I CAN PUT IT OFF NO LONGER
MY CONSCIENCE IS YELLING AT ME
MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY HAS BEEN PATIENT (sort-of)
JUSTIFYING MY BEHAVIOR NO LONGER CUTS IT
SO...WITHOUT FURTHER AUDIEU...
WITHOUT KEEPING YOU ON YOUR TOES ANY LONGER.....
IM GOING TO ADMIT PUBLICLY....(drum roll please)
THAT I WILL BE PARTING WAYS WITH THE MAIN SUBSTANCE IN LIFE THAT HAS BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY AND SATISFACTION.
YES, I AM DECLARING FOR ALL BLOG WORLD TO SEE, PLUS MY FAMILY....

THERE WILL NO LONGER BE ANY SUBSTANCE ABUSE FOR ME.
IM SAYING TA TA TO WHAT I HAVE OFTEN REFERRED TO AS THE NECTAR OF THE GODS.
GOOD BYE MY LOVE
GOOD BYE PEPSI COLA

I EXPECT REWARDS FOR MY SACRIFICE
1st A REAL SLIMMING OF MY MID-SECTION
2nd A NEW CAR FROM BUILDER BOB
3rd UNDYING ADULATION FROM MY KIDS
4th RENEWED ENERGY AND VIGOR, THAT IS NOT CAFFEINE INDUCED
5th NO SUGAR INDUCED CRASHES (I gave sugar up for Lent once. It was tough...at first. I've given up Pepsi too-for 730 days. I dont recollect it being difficult then)
FOR SOME REASON, THIS TIME IM BRACING MYSELF FOR A PERSONAL ORDEAL.

REASONS:
1. IM HAVING TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT IM NEVER GOING TO DRINK PEPSI AGAIN.
I DONT DO WILL WITH THE CONCEPT OF NEVER!!
DONT TELL ME NEVER- I'LL BRISTLE
IT'S A CHARACTER FLAW TO BE SURE.

ITS THE REBELLIOUSNESS IN ME.

2. THERE IS TRULY NOTHING, ZILCH, NADA OUT THERE THAT I'D RATHER DRINK.
OTHER SODAS- NO THANKS
JUICE- TO SWEET, TO MANY CALORIES (its irrational, I know)
MILK- GAG
WATER- ITS THE ONLY SUBSTITUTE

OH WELL, BOREDOM WILL HAVE TO DO

3. I THINK IT MAY BE AN ADDICTION. (there, I've gone and said it)
I THINK I HAVE ADDICTIVE TENDENCIES
*PEPSI
*SUGAR
*CARD GAMES ON THE COMPUTER (not since Anna left)
*MAYBE EVEN BLOGGING

4. IF IM GIVING UP THE ONE AND ONLY FOOD GROUP-PEPSI-THAT BRINGS ME JOY-- I'LL WANT TO REPLACE IT WITH HEALTHY FOOD STUFFS. EATING HEALTHY IS VERY EXPENSIVE. .52 cents A DAY AT THE LOCAL CORNER CHEVRON KEPT ME SMILING EACH DAY. MAKING MY OWN JUICES AND GRANOLA AND FISH AND FRUITS IS GUNNA HIT THE WALLET MIGHTY HARD. AND...WILL IT BE AS SATISFYING??? hummmmm

5. IF I DONT LOOSE SOME WEIGHT BY GIVING THIS UP, I WILL BECOME QUITE DISILLUSIONED AND DISCOURAGED AND DISGUSTED. I ALREADY KNOW IT MIGHT NOT HAPPEN. 5 YEARS AGO, WHEN I GAVE THE 'STUFF' UP FOR 2 YEARS, I DIDN'T LOOSE AN OUNCE!! HOW COULD THIS BE??? I DONT DRINK DIET!! DIET DRINKS HAVE NEVER PASSED MY LIPS. THEY ARE SO UNHEALTHY!!!

6. IM EXPECTING TO FEEL LIKE A NEW WOMAN, AS SOON AS I GET THROUGH THE DETOX STAGE. MY FAMILY WILL PROBABLY BE WISE TO BRACE THEMSELVES FOR SOME KIND OF UNEXPECTED, UNWARRANTED MELTDOWNS. IM WONDERING--YOU OUT THERE THAT HAVE NEVER LET THIS GLORIOUS SUBSTANCE DOWN YOUR GULLETS--DO YOU FEEL BETTER THAN I, AFTER A LONG, TALL COLD, DRINK ON ANY GIVEN DAY? DO YOU??? IM HOPING THAT YOUR ANSWER IS A RESOUNDING YES!!!

SO LET ME JUST CONCLUDE THIS CONFESSIONAL/TIRADE WITH A CHALLENGE AND A WISH.
IF I GIVE UP PEPSI----
I ISSUE THE CHALLENGE TO THE UNNAMED FAMILY MEMBERS WHO I KNOW AND LOVE, TO DO THE SAME. I'VE BEEN MOCKED AND RIDICULED BY MANY (with good intentions Im sure)
CAN THESE ONLOOKERS GIVE UP THEIR DR PEPPER??!!
JUST ASKING?!

AND...MY WISH:
TO LOVE ME, EVEN WHEN IT GETS UGLY AT THE THE CORNER MARKET OR RESTAURANT.
AND BY ALL MEANS, I'LL TAKE ANY UTTERED PRAYER IN MY BEHALF AS WELL.

BLESS YOU!!
BLESS ME!!
MAY WATER RULE!!!

(photo from FLICKR)