Have We REALLY Come a Long Way, Baby?

I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about the power of women. Women of the past vs women of the present. Hillary Clinton is in the news for her show of emotion-her tears-on the campaign trail. We have a woman running for President- that’s remarkable. It’s a wonderful thing really. I would have much preferred it be a woman of real caliber such as Condie Rice…but that’s a whole other issue.

On the other-hand, I find myself agreeing with abrasive Dr Laura who writes about the effects of the feminist movement on society, and more particularly on the family. The battle for women’s rights has been fought long and hard for many years and continues to be waged throughout the world. There will always be good cause to take up the charge for better treatment of women everywhere in the world.
But as far as the modern woman, here in the good ole U.S.of A., Im thinking there is reason to reflect about some of the effects of such a ‘cause ‘ to our society. Im not a worry wart, but I am concerned about the crumbling of traditional families.

I have a liberal streak running through my spine.(it’s the California girl in me) But common sense resides there also.
I scoff now at the old mores of the 40s and 50s. Gone are the days (thank heavens) where women were deemed so frail that they had to lay in bed for 10 days, not
moving, after giving birth to a baby. Gone are the days that one worried that our uterus would fall out if we lifted anything heavier than 10 lbs. We are strong. (sorry mom) Gone are the days where women read books by Marabel Morgan, suggesting that the only way to have wedded bliss would be to wrap yourself in saran wrap and wait with hot anticipation at the front door for your husband to return home from work. Ugh( I swear you’ll find this suggestion in her pages, along with many more twisted ideas) Here is a book that was written in all seriousness, about how to make your man the center of the universe. (Millions of copies sold!!!)

(remember my liberal streak? Its screaming right now!!!)

Then again…..I vehemently believe that the family is under attack!! The family unit struggles and doesn’t even look the same anymore. When we look around us..there is unrest on every side. The simpler life is no more. (if only saran wrap could cure all that ails the world) Gone is a healthy society. Could it be that the feminist movement was the beginning of the end?

Arguably, the feminist movement has done a lot of good for us, to be sure. But I see now that it did too good a job of shifting the focus of women from a family and the importance that this family plays in society as a whole. The shift was to a mentality of thinking only about personal success, gaining ‘stuff’, feeling accomplished and having power. These things have became more important, much more important, than love, marriage and family. Some things about the feminist movement have now become toxic. "We are created to be equal or the same as men” is a damaging and contradictory precept. Equal in importance, to be sure. God loves us equally, but He did create us differently, thank heavens. He created us to help and lift one another, and to be team. A winning team. Men are not the ‘evil empire’ to be conquered.Nor are they the ignoramus's that the media would have us believe. Women are not diminished by caring for a man and our children. The true nature of a woman is to nurture, and this inclination should not be denied. I believe that the more we ie-women- repress what comes natural,the unrest to ones soul is felt and dissatisfaction ensues. What could possibility be wrong with finding true joy and satisfaction in commitment to vows, in honor and good will towards husband and family? Why do so many women think they long for a promotion or to be recognized in the world and not build on a foundation that can last forever? Raising well adjusted children in the world is the hardest, most courageous job there is! I believe this, and so does Oprah!!(that’s just got to make it true!) There is no other job that can compare or be of more importance.
So yes, Im ever so grateful for the advancements that have been made in behalf of women. I applaud the possibility that a woman could be elected to run the country. But I quickly insert the hesitation that the ills of society may also be attributed to these bright, intelligent, good women leaving the home and entering the ‘marketplace’ and in so doing, are leaving the child rearing to others that are less vested in how they’ll turn out. Not to mention the implications this has on society, the economy, and a vast array of other ills this country is dealing with.

There are no easy answers, to be sure. The debate goes on in many circles around the globe. Im just saying that if we as women would follow our hearts, they would land us right where we belong-(for the most part) at the board of directors of our own homes, where all things are important and really matter- in the grand scheme of things.
Let us rejoice in our womanhood. Let us revel in the differences between our men and their manhood and in women and our sisterhood.

I asked Builder Bob some personal questions about some of this. Here are his responses:

What do you enjoy about being a man?
"Being a husband, the provider, and a father"

What do you enjoy about being a husband?
"What is this?! What's this for? What is this-- a Womens Conference thing? (pause) I like having a 24/7 friend and confidant. (pause) Having a live-in maid and a built in secretary. I have someone I can 'fool around' with. Is this going on your blog??!!!"

What do you not enjoy about being a husband?
"I know your password, I can delete this! Is there supposed to be something? I know- being interviewed by my wife!"

What do you not enjoy about being a man??
(rolls his eyes) "Hormones? I didnt say whos hormones? I have no complaints."

What does cinhiker do that 'stress you out'??
"Did you make these question up? How about when asking me silly questions and writing down the silly answers, and not really knowing where I'll find the answers"

What do you admire most about women in general??
"Their ability and willingness to give life, and sometimes its to someone who may not tend to deserve it later in life. Its something only a mother could do. Child bearing, child rearing......" (fades out)

What do you like most about marriage??
"Same answer- full time companionship"


What do you admire most about cinhiker??
"WHAT!? Your ability to make friends and to accept people with unconditional love. You have a great love for friends and family."

AHH SHUCKS....

What do you expect from cinhiker as a wife??
"I should have stayed away for a couple of DAYS. Close your book and I'll tell you. (reluctantly) To be fed regularly and consistently and lovingly. ah haa, what does that mean you ask? there are many different ways to be fed..."

What do I need to back off of"?
"Interviews!!!"

Do you have a longing for something??
"not after last night"

What part of marriage is a tough pill to swallow??
"Did you listen to Dr Laura today?" (pause) "Nothing comes to mind."

When do you feel the most needed??
"When you have a lousy headache and the dishes are piled high. How about when I buy plane tickets for a family vacation?" (pause) "Maybe your pretty independent and not too needy."

OUCH!!!

Imagined vs Reality- in marriage. What have you learned??
"Im not that deep or imaginative or analytical for that matter. I haven't thought about this."

What do you wish there was more of in your woman??
(looong pause) "Im happy. I dont know....hummm... other than the stuff we've talked about, away from here...."

What is your Love Language??
"A back rub"

PHYSICAL TOUCH

What is 'man'/'masculine'??
"Its somebody that can show and be and express the kind of person that you know you are, without fearing the consequence's of what others may think of you. Masculinity is having mature, sure courage."


How do you know when cinhiker is happy, as a woman??
"When you write me love notes and leave them on my pillow." (long pause) "Wait a minute,a happy mother is a happy household...."

Do we communicate well enough??
"Sure, we've done better the last few years. We avoid what sets each other off. I think there's room for improvement. We are still too defensive about certain subjects."

Is cinhiker a 'typical' gal??
"What's the definition of 'gal?' Your not a typical mom. You make friends with your kids' friends easily. You dont fall into the usual pattern of a women, in how they treat each other. No your not the typical mother, maybe you're a little too much of a friend to the kids." (pause) "I think our roles have changed a bit in the last few yrs. I think it happened when our kids became teenagers."

When have you and cinhiker had the most fun together??
"When we travel. The less luggage the better"

What dont I 'get' about you??
"You've pretty much got it"

Do you like cinhiker in her hiking pants??
"In your WHAT?! Some of them I do and some I dont. Are you asking me if Im physically attracted to you in them? Some of them I dont think you should be out hiking in, in front of 60 yr old men,out on the trail"

Have you been 'tamed' or was it cinhiker??
"Definitely YOU!" (pause) "I guess"

Did you sacrifice anything for marriage??
"My '62 Jaguar Mark 4"

Was it worth it??
"What was the question? Did you say something....?"


What dont you get about cinhiker??
"The pear, and peanut butter and hot-dog thing. And your infatuation with bald men."

Because Im a woman- what is it you just accept because you CANT or SHOULDN'T change it??
"Well the obvious answer is the hormonal pattern thing. How it effects our marriage. Women are from outer space...from Venus or Pluto or one of those far off places. You cant live with them and you can live without them...."

What do you like to do to relax??
"Thats the problem. I havent found out what that is yet. Thats my problem...."

Whats your favorite food??
"Apparently 2 hot-dogs." (gesturing towards the Foreman grill on the counter) "Roast Beef, potato's and gravy and a Nielsons Frozen Custard, almond fudge with malt concrete....corn on the cob.....a good tasting apple....granny smith...."

I THINK HES STILL HUNGRY

What is cinhikers Love Language??
"Now your getting personal." (pause) "I dont know...I guess I'd cover all 5 of them and have all my bases covered. I dont want to say too much,cause it'll embolden you-receiving a gift of driving a nice car....varoom, varoom...."

What brings you happiness??
(sigh) (SIGH) "The end of long surveys. Happy kids, happy wife, a family structure that is hitting on all cylinders. World peace. Seeing that Hillary is loosing."

You take cinhiker to the movies 'cause she likes to go- what would you like to do??
"Go home for the movies. I enjoy going to the movies with you. Its an escape. Popcorn included. I deserve a backrub tonight for doing this you know."


If you were to try something new, what would it be??
"Art work, painting, sculpture..."


If cinhiker were a car...??
"You'd be a Lamborghini. Fast but hard to handle" (wink,wink) "on sharp turns." (wink,wink)

If cinhiker were an animal....??
"a kola bear?....actually I'd say a chimpanzee, with itchy skin, to be scratched by me."


Any closing remarks??
"UNCLE!!!!!"