One must train the habit of Faith.  The first step is to
recognize the fact that your moods change.  The next
is to make sure that, if you have once accepted
Christianity, then some of its main doctrines shall be
deliberately held before your mind for some time 
every day.  That is why daily prayers and religious 
readings and church goings are necessary parts of
Christian life.  We have to be continually reminded
of what we believe.  Neither this belief nor any other 
will automatically remain alive in the mind.  It must
be fed.  And as a matter of fact, if you examined a 
hundred people who had lost their faith in 
Christianity, I wonder how many of them would turn
out to have been reasoned out of it by honest argument?
Do   not most people simply drift away?
from: Virtue and Vice
by: C.S. Lewis

If one were to seek the praises of men...I suggest you wear these boots!!  Perfect strangers would and did stop in their tracks and compliment my fun, new boots.  (That just doesnt happen to frumpy me..in Logan Utah.)  I do NOT seek after the praises of men. Not much anyway.  But I DO enjoy a great pair of shoes/boots!!
Thank you Margot and Natalie for your help and guidance in obtaining such praiseworthy objects.

I do ask myself...often of late...what is it that I should be 'seeking after'?
The answer of course is- The Kingdom of God. But this is too grand a goal...to seemingly unattainable.  So Im looking to be more realistic.
I am seeking for meekness, for patience. I seek for holier Sabbaths, and meaningful prayer. Most especially Im seeking for joy and peace in my day.
This week we read in Matthew 6:
Take no thought for your life, what  ye shall ear tor what ye shall drink, nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on.  Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? 
 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? 
 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? 
 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? 
 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. 
 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Its so easy for me these days to get sucked into the worries  of the day...to become overwhelmed with concern about the future. More  often than I care to admit, I am filled with bitterness and hopelessness. I have learned that I am weak and that my foundation was mostly a sandy one. I have also learned that My Builder is the rock.
But  I do not want to be thought of as a quitter. I dont want to give up. I intend to find my way back to the spiritual being that I once was.
I've been looking in many other places for enlightenment, besides the scriptures. I have found great instruction in learning about meditation and the practices of Buddhism.  (Mormon friends..dont freak...there is truth everywhere!)
Here's a dumbed down version of my new journey-
If while washing dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as if they were a nuisance, then we are not "washing the dishes to wash the dishes." What's more, we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes. In fact we are completely incapable of realizing the miracle of life while standing at the sink.  If we cant wash the dishes, the chances are we wont be able to drink our tea either.  While drinking the cup of tea, we will only be thinking of the other things, barely aware of the cup in our hands.  Thus we  are sucked away into the future,  - and we are incapable of actually living one minute of life. 
from: The Miracle of Mindfulness
by: Thich Nhat Hanh

All in all Im seeking, no, longing for peace. Peace with our circumstances. If I can find peace, I can have joy. If I can learn to live in the present...I can feel joy again. I know these things...but living them is a whole different matter.

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