Stephenson Family Ties

Hearts will never be practical until 

they can be made unbreakable.

from: The Wizard of Oz

by: Frank Baum

Im learning, again, that along with a healthy dose of lack of self control..ie Pepsi, tumblr, etc, I come up lacking in the technique of  'worrying.'
People worry.
Parents really worry.
Chickens worry.
Warts worry.
I do not worry...not like most people I know.

In some future life I may regret my lack of worrying...but for now its just what it is.  Though in the future I can see that I may beat myself up for not being more vigilante ..in fact there are a few things I can think of right now that I regret not being more on top of... now and then...but worrying about it would not have helped me.
I do not worry. Not compared to the vast majority of folks I know. 95% of the people I know worry to the point of loosing sleep, fingernails, and even clumps of hair from their heads as they contemplate possible trouble.  Many a stomach lining has been masticated by worry acids. Tempers flair or silence settles in when worrying raises its troublesome head.  Worrying seems to be a malady that cant be helped. Are we born with it...or is it learned? Once a worrier, always a worrier?!
 People do all sorts of things in the name of worry and protectiveness.  And I think its safe to say that parents are guilty of worrying the most. I read a Grimm fairy tale the other day.  Briar-Rose/Sleeping Beauty.  This time I read it as a metaphor for worrying parents....parents who do all they can to protect their principessa daughter from evil and peril. And do they succeed!? Of course not. For we truly cannot protect our loved ones from all heartaches and danger. Worrying has no form of

protection attached to it. We can teach, preach, and live our lives by example. We can pray, bribe, cajole or be domineering...but alas, it is worrying that helps the least of all.
At the end of the Grimm tale I  asked myself this question, "What do parents most worry about for their kids?"
My pathetic list looked like this:
1. Hoping for their spiritual centeredness-for the good times as well as the bad.
2. Wishing them financial stability
3. Hoping for the blessing of good health
4. Finding and being a good mate.

All of these things are big issues...but I can see that worrying about them for my kids wont help a thing.

I thought it would be fun and interesting to ask family and friends this same question.  To learn what others worry about for their kids.
The responses are telling.
No one is alone on the worlds worry track. (though I truly do feel isolated on my lack of worry track.)
Below are the unedited, unabridged answers from those I love!!

Judy:

Worries about her childrens'  health, their making good choices (religion, partners, job), and being productive citizens....

Christy:

Worries that her children will get hurt-emotionally, physically, spiritually, or die That she will not teach them enough or correctly so that they gain a testimony and understand the Spirit. That her relationship with them won't be open and trusting enough so that as teenagers they will come to her with troubles and worries. That they won't know how intelligent, beautiful, special, and of great worth they are as daughters of God.

(Okay, she's not gonna lie, she's worried that they'll get kidnapped or tricked by a trafficker, but she also  realizes that that fear is prompted by the volume of  work she does with this issue and she  tries to fight that one down, lol.)  Not being sure when to step in as a parent and when to let them handle it on their own...there you go, my inner parenting fears!  

Debi:

I worry about their happiness - altho they all seem to be pretty happy with life.

I worry about their marriages, altho they all seem to be good...

I worry about their children's health.

..and safety.

And I worry that they might have challenges someday that will challenge their spirituality.

Chelsea:

Hmmm 1. That they will be healthy and strong and never have to suffer through cancer.

 2. That they will love school and that we will be able to pay for their education when the time comes.

 3. That we will be financially stable so that when they want to play a sport, take karate or gymnastics I can give them that opportunity.

 4. That they will be confident and know how special they are no matter what. 

5. That in the future they will choose to serve a mission and be married in the temple and raise a family in the gospel. 

  It makes me cry to think they DO have their free agency and they are going to be hurt and tried and I hope we can teach them the way so they will KNOW the way that will make them the happiest.

Jackie:

 1.  That they and their children will retain their testimonies.

2.  That my grandchildren will be able to go to college (because of rising costs.)

3.  That they all live where they will be physically safe from idiots in the big, bad world.

4. That they can afford to own their own home.

5.  I worry that as the world gets worse, they will lose hope.  I want them to always have hope.

Kip:

1.Quality education

 2.Future jobs

3. Safe country

4. Want them to enjoy life

5. Remember what is important in life

I am optimist on the future.  It will go well for them.  It may not be easy but they will make it and the U. S. too.

Natalie:
Hmmm...I worry about when they start school and what they'll be exposed to there, I worry about then being made fun of (kids are mean these days!), I worry about their safety, I worry about their health. I think I worry about everything  I don't know about their future. If things continue with our country the way they are right now, I don't think their future looks too great. I just want them to be happy and find someone who loves them as much as their dad loves me!

Joan:
Kids? Worry? All the time! (1)I worry about their health. Carly has had tummy problems for years and no doctor knows why despite all the tests.Bill was in a car accident in June and hasn't been able to work since. Looks healthy but a concussion and damage to his dominant hand. He was just finishing a Millwright program and now that job is on hold. (2) I worry about him driving now...? (3) I worry about them finding happiness with a spouse and family one day. I want them to have what I have, a great marriage and children.(4) I worry that Allison and her husband will finally settle down thousands of miles away. She is my best chance for grandchildren!(5) I worry that she won't be able to get pregnant ( been trying for a year)(6) I worry that they will have healthy children.(7) I worry that they make enough money to support themselves and a family.(8) I worry that they will never be able to own a home in todays economy. Man! I'm officially a worry wart!!! Kids! They are a life sentence!!! I wouldn't change a thing about having kids though. Love them so much!! Big hug to you my friend Cindy. ( I worry that we won't see you again hiking in beautiful St. George) xoxox

Amanda:

Wow... That is tough. I don't really think about it like that. I anticipate a changing world. But, so did my parents and their parents. There will be things we can't control and things that are scary and undesirable. But, those things help us shape our character so I am not sure I would say that I worry about it. Each generation has its own trials and tribulations. I don't worry about broken hearts. Everyone needs to experience a couple so they can appreciate Mr. Right. I don't worry about what most people do. I have raised my daughter the best I could with values that were mine. At some point she will decide to hang on to them or let them go because she is her own person and I am glad of that. I just don't worry about her like that. I worry about things like kidnapping and disease andthings that are way out of my control or hers. I am no good to you. You wanted a list but I don't really have one. I don't like to think about those things. Bit I am super glad you thought of me to ask. I miss and love you dearly




Ashley:

Most worry about… 1. That I'm not teaching them everything they need to know 2. That they are getting all the nutrients they need 3. They are going to see me doing something wrong and then do it and then they will be messed up for the rest of their lives (i'm dramatic) 4. (this is a church one, I hope thats okay) I hope they feel the spirit in my home. I want them to be able to know it and understand it and want to have it in their lives. 5. I'm worried that sometimes he doesn't listen to me enough… I don't want him opening the front door and walking outside when I'm not looking

Future… 1. I'm worried my kids will get picked on 2. I'm worried the world is so bad it is going to be very difficult for my kids to have a strong testimony with all the bad things going on around them. 3. I'm worried that they will be easily influenced 4. I'm worried that one day my kids might not like me… (I don't like my mom, so maybe they won't like me) 5. I'm worried they might be like me

so it was kind of hard coming up with those and honestly I know some of them sound silly, but I know you love me and won't make fun of me

Barbara:

1. Health 2. Safety 3. Future in our country and what that means to them and my grandchildren. 4. Job security 5. Relationships with spouses and their own children...and people around them.

One thing I don't worry about is their spirituality .....I feel each one is pretty blessed in that area.

Rob:
Health, success, friendship, confidence, love. Hope that helps. Thanks for making my wife cry doing this. Haha.






My Builder:
My prayers for our kids include: staying healthy, being safe, staying(getting ) close to the Spirit, to have them fulfill covenants, to love their spouse and kids.




Jenn:
I'm having a hard time coming up with answers to these questions because most of my worries revolve around my own insecurities. I feel like whatever worries I have if I have enough faith Heavenly Father will help me overcome them so I try not to worry too much. We'll, I try.