I can promise you that the spirit
is a whole lot more anxious to help
you than you are to be helped.
from: Drawing on the Powers of Heaven
by: S. Dilworth Young
The unorthodox Mormon that I am...Im going to share with you something that I started...that most Mormons I know dont do.
I may have shared with you already...a part of my conversion story...the part about how incredibly difficult it was for me to pray, vocally or in private. Especially as a geeky, awkward teenager. The concept of prayer was foreign to me. Mormons start out EARLY teaching their kids to pray. They pray in Primary and at cub scout meetings and at family dinners. I never did that. And as a teenager...which was when I happened to discover that the Gospel had been restored to the earth by a prophet...one of the things that was expected, was to pray in meetings, to bless the food at meals; to pray, pray, pray!!
Prayer is a great thing. I pray all the time in my heart. I can now pray in planning meetings and over the food and in sacrament meeting and at family functions...though I still wish I didnt have to. I dont and never will enjoy getting up in front of people and being the center of attention. I alway get tongue tied and flustered...but I try to remember that all Im doing is asking for the Spirit of our Savior to be with us in whatever we are doing. I dont have to be flowery or too eloquent...I just need to be sincere.
We are also taught to be careful of vain repetitions when we pray. Sometimes thats tough to pull off as well. I truly do want the same things for my family and myself...not much changes around here. But I do try to not sound redundant.
I confess that Im a miserable failure at consistent, knee worn, prayer. I want to be better. And how do I propose to get better at this commandment you ask? Weeelllllll.... I have started a prayer book. Yep...thats right, a tiny winy prayer book. I have begun to fill its pages with prayers. I have pulled them from the pages of scripture. I have googled for prayers for patience. I have discovered eloquent prayers for hiking and for the love and gratitude of nature. (there are prayers for ANYTHING on line!!!) With some I have taken the liberty of rewriting them to fit my condition and attitudes and desires. Others stand alone in their beauty and simplicity and are right on the money for me. I have not written any down that have not moved me and uplifted me as I read them and ponder their words. I am grateful for these prayers and the spirit they bring me when I read them. I know am better off after having sent them heaven ward.
I may get some raised eye-brows with this post...
but I am confident that my motives are pure..for they are not for public ears...
I like this new tradition. After all, thats why Im here..to learn and grow and better my condition and the condition of those around me.
adieu and amen!!!
“Generations Apart.. United in Prayer.” by Nima Baharlooie
3 comments:
One of the greatest memories I have of my mother is walking in on her as she knelt in prayer pleading with the Lord, tears rolling down her cheeks as she weep. Knowing the struggles my mom went through she was probably praying that the lights wouldn't be turned off or that she would find enough food to feed nine children. I remember the day my baby brother was killed; she knelt right there in the hospital begging for a miracle. She didn't get one that day. In all of her 81 years she never stopped praying, it was like the safety net between her and her God, her best friend. She still works full time because life has never gotten easier for her and as she pulls out of her driveway at 5:00 a.m. every morning she talks to her father in heaven in prayer. Praying that her old truck will get her to work, praying that her sight will support her efforts and thanking the lord for every hardship she has endured. Pray is one of the greatest gifts the Lord has given us. I have come to know that He doesn’t care if we are on bended knee or driving in a beaten up old truck He loves us just the same for just checking in.
Bless you dear Cindy!! You are a wise and wonderful friend! Thank you! (I may ask you if I can post this comment on my blog instead of 'behind' it!?) what ya think?
You can post this, I revised it a bit. Last night it poued out of my heart, today I refined it. I would love to share this. Here is the corrected version:
One of my fondest memories is seeing my mother as she knelt in prayer; often pleading with the Lord, tears rolling down her cheeks as she wept. She didn’t know I was there however knowing the struggles my mom experienced she was probably praying that the lights wouldn't be turned off or that she would find enough food to feed her nine children. I remember the day my baby brother was killed; she knelt right there in the hospital hallway begging for a miracle. She didn't get one that day. Eighty-one years later she is still praying, it is like the safety net between her and her God, her best friend. She still works full time; life hasn’t gotten any easier for her. As she pulls out of her driveway every morning at 5:00 a.m. she talks to her father in heaven in prayer. Praying that her old truck will get her to work, praying that her sight will support her efforts and thanking the lord for every hardship she has endured. Pray is one of the greatest gifts the Lord has given us. I have come to know that He doesn’t care if we are on bended knee or driving in a beaten up old truck He loves us just the same for checking in.
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